Teenagers are kind of silly. It’s an awkward age. They are in between childhood, and adulthood. They’re dealing with raging hormones, insecurity, “finding themselves” – and oh, let’s have them make the most major decisions of their lives too! It’s a hard time.Bro. Graham used to say that teenagers “were dumber than a box of rocks.” They are. They think they know everything, and in reality, they know very little! Only two things helped me to survive my teen years unscathed: 1. The love, and patience, of my parents. 2. A relationship with the Lord. I knew my parents loved me, and would always be there to help me navigate my way through those major decisions. But as most teens are, I was a little, okay, a lot independant! I wanted to find the answer to life’s big questions myself . I wanted the Lord to show me the answer. What I found out impacted my life forever.
Most of my “boyfriends” were pen pals. They all lived in other states. Bro. Graham preached to us teens that you shouldn’t just date for the sake of dating. You should look for qualities in a date that would be suitable for a future mate. In other words, he was saying it was dangerous to date a guy you worked with that didn’t go to church, who drank and lived a lifestyle that was opposite your own – you may get attached to that person, marry him and then be forced to live a life that you know is not pleasing to God. Because of this, I took “dating,” which in reality was really just “writing,” very seriously.
When I was 17 I was “dating” a guy from a boys Ranch. [Attention: This means I was desperate!] He came highly recommended by my Pastor, and I don’t think my parents were too concerned since he lived 500 miles away! He had a rough way to go during his young life, but he seemed to be on fire for the Lord, and doing right.
Because I took dating (writing) so seriously, I prayed a lot about my future husband, and I talked to the Lord about this guy. One thing that bothered me, was his past. I felt guilty for judging a guy’s past, but remember, I was thinking “future husband!” I was bothered by the scar in his left ear where he had worn an earring at one time. I knew he had done other things in his past that leave scars on the heart as well. This bothered me, because I came from such a loving, and pure home.
I was pretty innocent back then, and I hope I still am! I prayed like I was talking to my parents. “Lord, whatdya think about him? I don’t like the scar from his earring. Am I being picky or what? Can ya please show me? I don’t wanna mess up my life.” Guess what. He showed me.
I’ll never forget that morning when I was reading my Bible, and God gave me an answer. Not my pastor, or my parents, or my big brother, but ME! He showed me that this was NOT the guy for me. I have the passage marked in my Bible, and it is very dear to me. I’d like to share it with you.
II Samuel 22:21-25
The LORD rewarded me according to my righteousness: according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me.
For I have kept the ways of the LORD, and have not wickedly departed from my God.
For all his judgments were before me: and as for his statutes, I did not depart from them.
I was also upright before him, and have kept myself from mine iniquity.
Therefore the LORD hath recompensed me according to my righteousness; according to my cleanness in his eye sight.
With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself unsavoury
These verses stood out to me like they had been highlighted in yellow! The Lord was using this passage to give me an answer from Heaven. He told me, that while I was far from perfect, I had chosen to keep myself from the wickedness of the world. I was a pure young lady. I had kept myself from alcohol, and wild living. I needed, and wanted, a man who had done the same with his life. And this passage was my promise from God to give me such a man.
Now, for the rest of the story. I’m far away from my teen years now. I can barely see them in the rear-view mirror of my life, but I can remember them. I remember that day when God spoke to a teenage girl about her future mate, and Lord willing, I’ll never forget it. I’ve been married almost a decade. I married a man who is like me: he’s not perfect but, he’s pure, he came from a good home, and he loves the Lord.
That guy that God steered me away from? Last I heard he was headed to prison.
Thank you, Lord, for speaking to a teenager. Thank you that you’re still there for me today.