A Rotten, Very Bad, Horribly Terrific Day

Monday: The most-hated day of the week. Most Mondays go okay for me. Of all the days of the week, I prepare the most meticulously for Monday. I suppose I do it because it seems to set the tone for the rest of the work-week. I lay out clothes, set my alarm thirty minutes earlier, have all of our lessons prepared and (usually) have the grocery list is made. I tackle my devotions, then get ready for the day, then we begin school. That lasts 4-5 hours. Then I go grocery shopping with whichever child has a turn that week.

My first mistake on this Monday, was not making my menu and grocery list on Sunday like I usually do. I have no excuse other than the one my kids always use: I didn’t feel like it. Shame on me. That was all it took to derail a perfectly good day. Well, that and the fact I was feeling a bit out of sorts for some reason. I blame womanhood.

I had started out okay. I’d had my devotional time. I’d gone on a two mile walk/run. I got dressed for the day. Ate breakfast, started school and then it all fell apart. Math was harder than usual. The doorbell rang. The kids asked me if we should hide. No, weren’t hiding, but I wasn’t answering., I told them. I got some emails with bad news. Did I mention that whole math thing? Yeah. That was pretty much the final straw right there at the beginning.

I frowned a lot today. I was snippy with the kids. I gave a lecture to one of the kids that (shudder) was probably an over reaction. Then, it was time to tackle that stupid menu and list! (If only food weren’t so important to life.) I made the list, clipped and gathered my coupons, checked my funds. got my oldest boy and left for the store.

And that’s when this rotten, very bad, horrible day got better.

Mitchell dropped forty Gospel tracts as we were leaving. Forty. He had counted them.

“What are you doing with those?” I asked.

“I’m giving them out at the store.” He said. “I want us to get over 100.” He said. (Our church keeps count of how many tracts we distribute each year. Last year, it was over 7,000, This year, so far, it’s about 70.)

I was thinking, “But I’m upset. I can’t go hand out tracts about the Lord. Nor can I be seen with someone doing that.” But I didn’t say anything, I just smiled. The feeling of humiliation was beginning at my feet and slowly creeping upward.

I know what you think about me. I was thinking it, too. “Why do I feel that way? Am I ashamed of the Gospel? Am I afraid?” I’m pretty sure my face turned red, but I didn’t have a mirror to see for sure.

Mitch hopped out at Walmart and promptly started placing tracts on the cars surrounding ours. I looked straight ahead, embarrassed. Then I was ashamed for being embarrassed. It was a tug-of-war in my heart! Where’s an altar when you need one? And “Just as I Am” being played on a piano? And a bunch of other Christians who love you and understand that you’re not exactly nuts, you’re just a sinner? I had no place to pray or anything. I tried to smile. But it was fake. I was all eaten up inside with my own problems. I just wanted to buy the food and get home and hide under the bed. Or something like that. But now I needed to go forward and repent.

I tried to ignore Mitchell as he handed them to everyone we passed and as he placed them on displays. I’m sure people wondered how in the world such a sweet, smiling boy could be with such a frowny-faced woman. I wondered that, too.

Well, without an altar or piano music, I repented. Right there in the aisles of Walmart, I asked the Lord to forgive me and help me. I changed my attitude. I started smiling. I stopped being embarrassed. I helped Mitch think of places to leave the tracts. I have to be real – I still felt somewhat downhearted, but the day was taking a much needed upswing!

As we left Walmart, I saw an elderly lady sitting on a bench outside of McDonald’s. She looked at Mitch with a smile of recognition and a wave. Mitch waved back, grinning ear-to-ear. He told me that he had started speaking with her at the self-checkout when he paid for something he had wanted. He smiles and talks to everyone, and they usually smile back.

I got home and put everything away, all the while wishing that the Earth would open up and swallow me. I don’t deserve this life. I had nothing about which to be discouraged. And from where, exactly, did these sweet children come? I know they didn’t get this sweetness from me. Maybe their dad? Nah. (Just kidding)

I often feel that as a parent, I’m supposed to have all the answers. But today, it was my son who taught the lesson. He taught me by his life. In fact, I’ve learned a lot from these five kiddos who call me “Mom”. Today, I was reminded not to let my emotions rule me and to be excited about the Savior.

Mitch 1-19-15

Me and Mitch. He made my bad day a wonderful one.

Telling others about Christ is a wonderful way to turn a horrible day, into a horribly terrific one.


Don’t Get Panicky, Ethel


“Now, don’t get panicky, Ethel!” exclaimed a very panicky Lucy Ricardo to a calm, composed Ethel when she comes into Lucy’s cluttered apartment in a classic episode of I Love Lucy. In “Off to Florida”, Lucy and Ethel are supposed to join Ricky and Fred in the sunshine state, but Lucy loses the train tickets the day of their departure! Lucy’s been frantically searching every nook and cranny of her home in search of those tickets. Her wide eyes, short breaths and frenzied behavior are classic symptoms of panic. And, while Lucy’s symptoms are hilarious to watch, I know from experience that in real life, it’s not so funny.

A year ago, I was scheduled to go to Chicago to speak at a ladies conference. My topic was “peace”. My problem was that I didn’t have much of it. At the last minute, I got scared of flying. I began to imagine  every possible scenario where “death” was the final result. I was traveling alone, so I could give my imagination my full attention. I wasn’t used to that. I am used to being around five kids all day, being questioned non-stop, and doing 5,741 chores a day. Being alone with no questions or chores was new. Needless to say, I allowed my imagination to carry me off into the sunset. I spent two very sleepless nights, and barely got home in one piece. The worst part, even now, is knowing that I was absolutely no help to those sweet ladies in Chicago. In fact, I’m afraid that my anxiety was a distraction.

Fast forward to this year  – nearly the same thing happened again, only this time, it wasn’t about flying, it was about my health. In the night, when my thoughts and I were alone, I turned minor health issues into terminal illness. In each situation, my breathing came in short, shallow puffs, my heart pounded as though I were running a race and I just knew that death was near. The interesting part about both times was that I wasn’t frightened about where I’d go when I’d die. I knew I’d be with the Lord. I was panicky for my family. Thoughts like, “What will they do?” or “Will they forget me?” or “Will someone else raise them?”” filled my brain. These thoughts just compounded my problem.

I’m a little nervous about even sharing my story , because any rebuke or Phariseeical remarks will hurt deeply. But, maybe God can use my distress to help others. Since last September, I’ve read several books by Christians on anxiety, worry and depression, so I know I’m not the only  Christian lady to walk this path. Perhaps this post can help that lady who suffers in silence, the one who cries alone in her bathroom, who begs God for relief, only to get no immediate answer. I want to say that there is hope.

First of all, I have not arrived at a permanent solution. In fact, that was my first mistake – I expected complete  healing. I would have a few good days, thinking the anxiety was in my past for good! Then, I’d take a nosedive. When that happened, I would give up hope, allowing the anxiety to return with greater efficacy. I’m kind of a “all or nothing” kind of gal. The Lord is teaching me to be a “one minute, one hour, one day at a time” kind of gal.

Here are the steps to peace that God has given me in the last year.

The first step was realizing I had backslidden in my prayer life. In fact, I was hardly praying at all. I had convinced myself that God knows everything and He knows what’s best, so why pray?  He’ll take care of things. The issue was that my attitude, while recognizing God’s sovereignty and wisdom, was an attitude of disobedience! He tells me to pray (Matt. 26:41; Luke 11:1-3; Luke 18:1; 1 Thess. 5:17 and many more), so I should pray. The Lord so gently and lovingly guided me – because I was crying out to Him about my anxiety. Most of my  prayers  were, “Help me, Lord! What’s wrong with me?” I’m here to say that He answers the prayer of the panicky.

His answer came this way: My husband had renewed his subscription to Tabletalk magazine. With that renewal came a free gift, a copy of “Does Prayer Change Things?” by R.C. Sproul. I held the book in my hands, already having felt pricked by the Holy Spirit for my indifferent attitude about prayer. As soon as I saw it, I knew I should read that little book. Through various statements and scriptures, I fell under conviction about my lazy prayer life. I asked God to forgive me, and to help me pray. I even wrote a blog post about it, and gave away a copy of that book to a dear reader. Then, just four days after I wrote that blog post, a wonderful pastor and friend of our family came to preach at our church. His sermon that Sunday morning? That’s right, it was on prayer! I wept and rejoiced at how God was answering the cry of my heart. It was like He had come to sit beside me at church that morning and personally answer my questions and guide me. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes! I began implementing a more systematic prayer schedule each morning, even if it meant getting up a little earlier. I already read my Bible every day, but my prayer time was easy to push aside. Talking to God faithfully each morning has helped me more than words can say! I have seen answers to prayer almost daily, but most of all, I’m keeping my sins confessed. (It’s amazing how quickly I can covet something in my mind or think a hateful thought about someone!) I have finally found the peace that I was missing in Chicago.

The second step was exercising outdoors. I’ve always exercised regularly by doing indoor aerobics. When I had little children and Terry was at work, I couldn’t leave them to go for a walk. There were too many of them to take with me if I wanted to go fast, so I did DVDs in my bedroom. Last June, Terry and I started doing the couch-to-5K app. The sunshine and fresh air gets my day started off right. An added bonus is getting to see God’s creation wake up each morning. It reminds me of how tiny I am compared to Him, and yet He loves me – yes, even when I panic.

The third step was reading a book. Several weeks ago, my sister recommended to me the book Loving God with All Your Mind, by Elizabeth George. It was as though God put that book in my lap to answer the remaining questions I had. I had been praying, “Lord, show me what to do. Do I need medication?”  I am fully aware that some hormonal conditions require medication. I’ve been on medicine in the past, and am not opposed to it. Like most people, I want medication to be a last resort. Terry and I prayed about my issues and I picked a doctor from the phone book. She was not kind and I left her office in tears. I took that as God saying “No” about medication for the time being. I was back to square one. That’s when I remembered that book! Before I even picked it up, the Holy Spirit reminded me of 2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; If only I could control my thoughts better! My thought life seemed to carry me away on wings and lead me off to worlds of worry! I wanted to apply that verse, but how? How can I bring something “captive” that I can’t even touch? The first chapter in Mrs. George’s book held my answer. She shares her own struggle with depression and that her thoughts were the problem. She began memorizing Phil. 4:8 while doing dishes. It says, Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. One day, like a bolt from the blue, she realized that her fearful thoughts came from thinking about things that were not true. That was the part of the verse she focused on. If she started thinking the “what if” thoughts, she would stop and ask herself, “Is this true?” Well, most “what ifs” are useless, they are not true. She talked about how she got depressed thinking about the past, and fretting over the “if onlys” of life. But, the past was no longer real, it was over. She began putting her thoughts up against the “Is this true?” test on a daily basis. Soon, she was reining in her thoughts and only dwelling on the real, the true, the “right now”. This was my answer – this is how I could bring my thoughts into captivity! I began working on this around the first of October, and in these past few weeks, I have seen God change my thought life.

But what about real problems? I have a few of those. I have a few family members who seem to hate me, and no amount of apologizing, explaining or loving can shake them from their position. To say that it’s caused stress in my life is an understatement. It’s been the source of much of my anxiety, sleepless nights, tears and heart palpitations. I want everyone (especially my family) to like me, so not being able to fix this hurts tremendously.The fourth step is learning to let go of that which I cannot control. I’m learning (on a daily basis) to take the real problems to the Lord each day in prayer, and leave them with Him. He holds the situation tightly and knows just how to handle it. When I start to stress about this, or any other real problem, I think of it like this: What if I read the paper and saw that another crisis similar to that of the Apollo XIII disaster was happening right now in space. What could I do? Could I rush down to Houston, roll up my sleeves and start doing physics? Umm…no. I can’t do physics. Even if I were a scientist, I don’t work for NASA. They would’t even let me on the property! It’s out of my league! Some problems are like physics. I don’t understand them; they are simply out of my league. All I can do is pray and trust God. And I’m learning that trusting God is enough.

I still experience ups and downs. Some days, my tears still flow, and I feel alone, afraid and desperate all over again. But that’s the last step, knowing that ups and downs do not equal failure. I am trying to foresee thought patterns and prepare for them. For example, each time a family member visits, I might think, “This could be the last time I see them!” That naturally causes me to start feeling unnecessary grief. Since I know how I am, I’m preparing myself for those emotions in advance. My answer is quickly becoming my new motto: “Is that true?” Did the Lord come down and say that that would be the last time I’ll see them? Of course not!  When those thoughts come, I’m ready. I think. I’m taking it one day at a time.

Recently, my husband preached a message on trusting God. It was very good teaching from the Bible, but the last sentence of the sermon has stayed with me. He said, “Even if you choose to worry your way through life, the Lord will still be the same and He will still do the same. His faithfulness to you is unwavering, even when your faith in Him is weak.” That’s my security, and it’s been there all the time. My sanity and peace of mind do not depend on me. Yes, I want to develop godly habits and do right, but I will fail. It’s so comforting to know that He never fails.

Sometimes, my husband helps me through the hard times, when the panic is just beneath the surface of my mind. His words of wisdom?

“Don’t get panicky, Ethel.”

And it works every time.

With love,


One of Those Days

Wow, I thought today would never end! And I really hate feeling that way! I’m one of those people who wakes each morning planning to savor every moment. I begin each day with my quiet time – Bible, notebook, and journal. Then breakfast and then school. School is non-stop fun…most days. Today, school was just non-stop.I’m always tired at the end of the day, but today, I felt sick on top of my normal fatigue -sore throat, runny nose, sneezing, blah! I thought I’d rest while the baby napped, but something happened and he didn’t sleep! Instead, he figured out how to open his brother’s drawer that had his deodorant in it and yep – he smeared it all over himself and the bed. I got that cleaned up, did two loads of laundry, vacuumed and now…well…isn’t it bedtime yet? 😉

I’m so glad I’ve already got the supper meat browned, all I have to do is cook some spaghetti and throw it together. It’s been a multiple-cup-of-coffee kind of day.

Each day is a gift from the Lord, no matter what happens. And I’m so glad that He gives strength to His little ones so that we can make it till bedtime. Especially on the days when it seems bedtime will never come.

Oh, and thanks so much for the comments yesterday. One time, it actually said “3 comments awaiting moderation”! THREE! Thank you.

Enjoying my third cup of coffee,

Reflections from 38,000 Feet

On my way home from Chicago, I had a three hour flight to Houston before hopping a plane to Little Rock. I jotted down some thoughts on the ladies conference to pass the time, while it was all fresh. Here are my thoughts, a bit edited for clarity. 🙂

It’s hard to believe that it’s already over. I’ve been thinking, praying and planning for these two days for seven months now! I was able to speak three times: a homeschooling session, where I covered basic Q’s & A’s about homeschooling, and shared the book Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe; a session for everyone called “Joy in the Face of Betrayal”, which was about when Christians betray us; and a session called “The Christian Lady’s Survival Kit.” I was moved to tears during the first main session on betrayal because of what God was doing in my own heart. He’s worked on me so much in the seven months I’ve been preparing for this, that I didn’t think I could feel anything different in regards to these areas of my life. I was wrong! Not only did He remind me of the changes I’m still needing to make, but He highlighted even more (really, uncovered is a better word) work that I need to do on forgiving those who have betrayed me and pulling out the roots of bitterness that are entwining themselves around my heart.

He also answered a prayer about a problem our family has faced, but been unable to find help for. I cannot discuss particulars, but it’s been something we’ve prayed about for years and searched for answers for, but come up empty. He proved to me that if I stay faithful HE will come through!

The pastor’s wife, who is affectionately referred to as “the first lady” by some, was so kind. She opened up her home to the speakers, served a delicious meal and even made these cute little pumpkin bread cakes wrapped in cellophane for each of us! I ate it without getting a picture! (oops!) I enjoyed her kindness and open heart so much. She also played the piano beautifully! I can see why so many love her. She’s everything I want to be as a Pastor’s wife. (Yes, pray for me in this!)

The largest blessing I received  was the gift of new friends. Wow! Did I ever need them! They aren’t just “friends”, they are kindred spirits. How could I know this after only two days with them? Because the “kindred spirit” was the Holy Spirit! He gave us a mutual fellowship that is only present in those who put their faith in the Lord Jesus.

The testimonies of the women I spoke with were amazing. One word that comes to mind is “courage”. I met real live women who are not just survivors, but overcomers. They are now lifting up other women and holding them up! They did that for me. They probably don’t realize it, but God is using them in a great way. Their light shines so brightly, that it shines all the way to Arkansas.

Here are some photos of the trip:

The theme was “Joy in the Journey” and the decorations were lovely!
 The young lady, Sarah, on the left used her purse to select items to find in our purses for a game. The girl had everything: cord, a screwdriver, a Bible…everything!
 We had a clown!! She’s on the LEFT, okay,  the LEFT. 🙂
Dimples the Clown made balloon shapes and painted faces. Marie (above) is showing off her sporty new look! 🙂
 Mrs. Lee, the Pastor’s wife, was such a blessing. 
 I was honored to be speaking with these other two ladies, Keren and Chris (L-R). Their testimonies encouraged me and I really enjoyed the fellowship! 
 Me with Marquita, the hostess of the conference. This lady was a blessing to me! She is the one who asked me to come, totally on faith! Thank you, Marquita, it was an honor to be with you and finally meet you!
 Me and Sarah, one of the sweet ladies at FBC. 
 Michelle, one of the many who inspired me by their lives! She is amazing. 
Erica, Me, and Kelly. Again, I just can’t say enough how great it was to get to know these people.

You know, they made me feel so special. They greeted me warmly, made me feel wanted, gave me delicious food and a comfy hotel room. I was told what a blessing I was, that I helped them, some offered to adopt me! (Yeah, they don’t know what they’re saying!)  But I think I was blessed more than they. I walked into that place empty, and went out full. I walked in alone, and left with a crowd.

 As we lifted off and I saw Lake Michigan and Chicago fade into the distance, I’m feeling a pang of loss. I suppose it’s that piece of my heart that I’m leaving behind. But it’s okay, I know they will take good care of it.

With love,


I Blew It

Prov. 30:32 If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, or if thou hast thought evil, lay thine hand upon thy mouth.

In obedience to scripture, I need you to do something for me. Picture my face (feel free to look to your left at the top of the page, my picture is there with my husband – got it? Okay.), so picture my face, with my hand over my mouth. Yep. That’s me today. I have done foolishly, and my hand is over my mouth, hiding a blushing face. I’m so mad at myself! I knew better, yet I blew it, plain and simple.

I like keeping things real here, so I figure I’ll just share my heart. Recently, in a facebook debate over a spiritual issue, I got carried away. I popped off and now I regret it. It all started out so innocently, with no ill intent, but soon it escalated and got out of hand. As I reflect on it now, I can see how my “good intentions” were being used of the Devil. I got so focused on this issue, that I failed to serve my family and my Lord as I should. I became so distracted, so focused on this one thing (which is not even a doctrinal issue), that I couldn’t even get what the Lord had for me from His Word.

I haven’t changed my position, because I have the Bible to back me up, but I do wish I had just stayed out of it. Even though I’m sad about getting carried away, I am thankful that the Holy Spirit convicted me about it – it’s just another confirmation that I’m His child. I’m also grateful that I have read enough scripture to have it immediately flood my heart, reminding me of how I’ve failed. Still, I hate that I have let my Lord down. He did not receive any glory from that silly debate.

Some verses that the Lord brought to mind are these:

Prov. 10:19 In the multitude of words, there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise. 
{My words a-boun-ded – that’s not a good thing!}

Rom. 14:1 Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.
{From the beginning, it was doubtful that these people would change their minds – why did I bother?}

1 Cor. 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
{As I said before, this did not bring glory to the Lord.}

I’m grateful the I have this verse as well: 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I’ve confessed it to the Lord, and now to you. I am thankful for His forgiveness, but my goal is to be more Christlike and not disappoint my Savior. Yes, I have a long way to go.

Proverbs 24:16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again…

I’m so disappointed in me, and I’m so discouraged, but with God’s help, I am going to get up and keep going.

Thankful for His grace,


Just Call Me "Lucy"

I have great intentions. I make wonderful plans and have grand ideas. Yet, somehow, when it comes to executing those plans and making those ideas a reality, things just…fall apart.

We just finished up a revival with Bro. Tim Green this past week. Bro. Green has been to our church three times. We consider him a great friend. He is a man of God in every sense of the word and he is just like family to us. I have had him to our home many times and cooked many meals for him.  He’s eaten my meatloaf, beef stew, roast, BBQ chicken, chicken with stuffing, tacos, and just about every other dish I make.This year, I wanted to make a something different for him. One meal I’d never served him was poppy seed chicken. It is a delicious recipe I got from a wonderful friend, but it is rather labor intensive. I decided to make it for him on Thursday. I got a late start, but tried not to let that ruffle me.

After 30 minutes of preparation, I popped it in the oven and went about with the other 1,743 things that I needed to do. The clock ticked and I could smell the yummy aroma of the chicken. Soon, however, the aroma shifted from a “cooking” smell, to a “burning” smell! I opened it the oven and saw that it was bubbling over into the bottom of my oven, but the chicken wasn’t burning. I thought, “Well, a little bit in the oven won’t hurt anything.” I closed the door and went on. Terry and Bro. Green had gone down to the church for something. As soon as they left, I noticed that black plumes of smoke were billowing from the oven! I opened the door and saw, through the smoke, that the spillage was more than I realized and it was really burning. I pulled the dish from the oven, spilling it on the oven door and myself.
Done or not, I had to take it out of the oven. I turned the oven off, turned the vent on above the stove. It’s just a little…I thought.

It didn’t take long to see it wasn’t just a little! Smoke was filling my house! I decided to try to remove some of the food from the bottom of the oven so that it would quit burning. I was going to scrape it off onto a cookie sheet that I had nearby. When I reached for the cookie sheet, it caught on the handle of my measuring cup – my glass measuring cup – and fell to the floor. It shattered into a million pieces. The kids were all wound up due to the excitement. Laci wanted to cross through the kitchen but she was barefooted, so I told her to stay put. At that moment, my barefooted Leslie raced past me, right through the shattered glass on the floor! I shrieked, thinking she had just sliced up her feet. Miraculously, she didn’t get a scratch.

In the midst of all the chaos – yep, you guessed it – came Bro. Green and Terry. Oh well. All I could do was warn them to hold their breath and watch their step. Terry helped me open up the house to get the smoke out. As the smoke went out, about ten flies came in! It took us until the next day to get all of them killed. I also spent the next day cleaning my oven. (Thank the Lord for Easy Off!)

I decided that all I could do was laugh. I even grabbed my camera and snapped a few photos. Hope you get a laugh, too.

Amazingly, the meal actually tasted good. We fed Bro. Green and quickly got him out of there before the roof caved in. Through it all, I didn’t lose my cool or display a bad testimony to my family, but the thought did cross my mind to just sink down and cry. Or maybe scream. Looking back, I’m almost thankful. It could have been worse. I think. 
I’ve decided just to embrace my “Lucy” tendencies. Life as “Lucy” isn’t that bad! 🙂

  aka Lucy 😉

Adaptability = Flexibility

I am amazed at how the Lord uses each and every thing in my life – whether great or small – to mold and shape me. I am usually looking for Him in the “great” things of life. I look for Him during the loss of a loved one or during financial reversal. I beg Him to show Himself strong during those times; to reveal the lesson I’m needing to learn so I can move on out of that trial.

The small things, however, are a different story. A child with a cold, one bill that is late, a vehicle with a flat tire or a dead battery. These things don’t seem as powerful as the the more serious kinds of trials. In fact, they aren’t that serious! Most children recover from a cold! Most people have been late on one bill without losing their houses! Flat tire? Dead battery? Big deal.

I began 2009 feeling parched and dry spiritually. I knew I needed the Lord to do a work in my heart. There was some bitterness taking root; there was some selfishness clinging to me like a sticky vine. There were harsh, unhappy words springing forth from the lips I once guarded so carefully. I tried to rid myself of it, but alas, I have not the strength on my own.

I asked the Lord to forgive me, to help me, to change me. I knew He would do the job.
Oh, no, I haven’t “arrived”! I’m writing this while still very much in the midst of “construction.” But, it’s coming. Slowly, I’m learning. Steadily, I’m adapting.

I asked the Lord to help me to be more flexible. I often go headlong into a school day with four children and let my husband fend for himself. Yes! It’s true! You can gasp in disbelief, it won’t offend me at all! I’ve asked the Lord to help me be more selfless, and yes, He’s working on that, too!

Most of you know that I have somehow injured my shoulder and that we’ve dealt with much sickness lately. These are not life altering problems, at least, not yet. My shoulder is healing. My children are well. But I am looking for the Lord. I am seeking His help; His divine guidance during this time.

He’s teaching me to adapt. I am having to do many things with just one arm! I am cooking, folding laundry, cleaning, teaching, and diaper changing with one arm. I am left handed, or so I thought, but I’m finding that I normally do many things right handed! I am also finding out that I can do most of those same things left handed also! I didn’t realize how I had adapted to the right handed world that I live in! I didn’t notice until this injury. I didn’t appreciate it until I had spoken with other lefties and heard their surprise at how many things I do right handed!

I’m learning that my Father has other areas in which He would like me to be more adaptable. Things like helping my husband, agreeing happily when the plans have changed, responding with a sweet tone of voice to clamoring children, etc. If I can adapt to being right handed, when my brain would rather be left handed, then I most certainly can adapt in my heart and mind to be what Jesus wants me to be.

He helped me to adapt physically, so He will have to help me adapt spiritually. It can be done, through Him! My prayers are being answered. The Lord is indeed teaching me to be flexible! Adaptability, after all, is a synonym for flexibility.

The children’s song says “He’s still workin’ on me, to make me what I ought to be…” and that is still true for me today. I’m so thankful that He hasn’t given up on me!

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Philippians 1:6