Seventeen and Sweet as Ever


Today, our sweet Lauren Kassidy turns 17. Lauren is our firstborn and has carried the burdens of that place in the family very well. She has set a good example for her siblings by being hard working, honest, and trustworthy. She has faced many challenges in her few years: six moves for one thing, and the intense pressure of being a “PK”. She has been with me the longest and through some of my darkest valleys. She has endured a lot of pain herself, but still keeps smiling and making others smile, too. She is a testimony of the grace of God, how He can heal our hearts and carry our burdens, and turn our mourning into dancing. When I want to quit, I need only glance down the hall at my Lauren to get encouragement.

I have many wonderful stories about Lauren, but I think my favorite is the time Terry was going out soul-winning at our first church in Texas. When she heard she could go with her dad, our seven year-old Lauren eagerly ran for her Bible and notebook, and clipped a pen to her shirt, for writing down prospects’ information. Her enthusiasm was contagious. (Of course, I had to take a photo.)


Whether she’s seven, seventeen, or anything in between, she has always been sweet.

Lauren has a vivid vocabulary and a sharp wit. She is a thinker, and it’s hard for her to hide her frustration when she sees injustice occur. She is passionate about her interests, and therefore, she does nothing by halves.

When I held her in my arms seventeen years ago, I had no idea what I was doing. My prayer was simple: Lord, help! And He did exceeding, abundantly, more than I could ask or think.

I love you, Lauren, and I’m so thankful to call you mine.

Happy birthday!




Series on Calvinism: Part 6


The Bible says in Acts 17:10-12, “And the brethren immediately sent away Paul and Silas by night unto Berea: who coming thither went into the synagogue of the Jews. These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Therefore many of them believed; also of honourable women which were Greeks, and of men, not a few.”

To the person who sits in the pew week after week, hearing but not listening; nodding, grinning, but not thinking, perhaps these are the sermons for you. It’s time for you to awake from your listless state and begin thinking. It’s time to be as the noble Christians of Berea and search the scriptures daily for yourself. As the Apostle Paul says in Romans 3:4, “…let God be true, but every man a liar…”

Here’s the latest sermon in the series, which happens to mention Dr. John R. Rice and Dr. Jack Hyles:

Objections to Election – August 21, 2016

Previous sermons in the series, “Calvinism and the Bible”:

Overview of Calvinism (the TULIP acrostic) – July 17, 2016

Total Depravity – July 24, 2016

Deeper Into Depravity – July 31, 2016

Unconditional Election – August 7, 2016

Unconditional Election, Part 2  – August 14, 2016


Theological Term of the Week: Prevenient Grace


This week’s term: Prevenient Grace – Originally an Arminian (semi-*Pelagian) doctrine claiming a grace bestowed upon our depraved nature, which allowed us to cooperate with God in our salvation. They held that such a grace was demanded by divine justice. Wesley modified the theory, attempting to remove some of the Pelagian philosophy, yet it remained heresy, only slightly improved. The term is sometimes used today (perhaps unwisely) in a good and Biblical sense, intended to describe the restraining portions of God’s activity in predestination, such as in the case of Abimelech (Genesis 20:4-6)

* Note: Pelagius (c. 360-418) taught that man was inherently capable of doing right or wrong, that it was possible for him to live a sinless life, and that some men had actually done so.

Last week’s term: Foreknowledge – (Greek – prog-no-sis) Foreordination, or the eternal loving knowledge or intent, according to which God purposes to bring His elect into the glory of His Son.


Series on Calvinism: Part 5


The latest sermon in my husband’s sermon series on Calvinism is now available on SermonAudio:

Unconditional Election, Part 2  – August 14, 2016

Previous sermons in this series:

Overview of Calvinism (the TULIP acrostic) – July 17, 2016

Total Depravity – July 24, 2016

Deeper Into Depravity – July 31, 2016

Unconditional Election – August 7, 2016

As I have stated before, my husband welcomes questions, but please listen to the messages before writing. The purpose of this series is that very thing, to answer questions and reveal the myths which are so rampant about these truths. Thank you for visiting!


Vessels Unto Honour?

I squinted in the sunlight, holding my hand over my eyes as we wound our way up the gravel driveway to our trailer in West Virginia. I was in the passenger seat of a utility van, Terry was driving, and  Patrick Woods, we all called him “Popeye” because he looked kinda like Popeye the cartoon, was in the back. We clambered to a stop and I climbed down from the van, careful not to fall, seeing as I was almost nine months pregnant, and then we stood a while in the summer sun to visit more with Popeye. He was a very kind, older man, who had owned the property we lived on, but gave it to the church some time before. He lived next door. We chatted about the work needing to be done, mostly mowing, and the ministry. He looked over at me and said in his unique drawl, “Doll baby, I hope you make it okay out here on this hill all by yourself.” I couldn’t tell him, but I wasn’t making it very well. I was so very homesick!

“A preacher’s wife has a lonely life,” he said as he gave me his partially toothless smile, his white hair blowing a bit in the breeze. I didn’t know that the words he spoke were almost a prophecy over my life, for it has been lonely.

The ministry is a calling of the Lord, and a blessed calling. But it has its challenges. The main challenge I face is, of course, being away from my family. No matter what church I join, and no matter how kind the people are, it’s not home. The church members have known each other for years in most cases, while I’ve known them only minutes in comparison. They can’t possibly love you right away. It takes time. Years. They all know the best restaurants, the best routes to take to certain stores, and what parts of town to avoid. Things that anyone knows about “home”. But this isn’t my home.

Long before Facebook or MySpace, there were places called chat forums. It’s the same as Facebook, really. You post pictures, discuss topics within a “thread” and chat with people of common interests. In my few spare moments, and in desperation for someone to talk to, I found one such forum for Independent Fundamental Baptists (IFB) called “Vessels Unto Honour” (VUH), deriving its name from 2 Timothy 2:21, If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.  The ladies there were all prim and perfect. No one had a bad day, or if they did, they could expect someone in the group to give them a good dose of scripture. I was very careful to word things the right way, and since I love writing, I enjoyed chatting and sharing stories or experiences in this way.

Years went by and I had the opportunity of meeting five of the ladies in person. Two of them in particular were like kindred spirits. They were very down-to-earth and relaxed. Since I am rather uptight, I found this instantly appealing and welcoming. We became very good friends, and I still call them friends today, some eight years after joining the group. When Facebook came into being, we all sort of migrated that direction. The forum went from being a tightly controlled online group to a less-tightly controlled secret Facebook group. I think there are three admins, but there very well could be more.

Last Saturday night, as I was setting my alarm on my phone to get up bright and early for Sunday church, I saw that I had a Facebook message, but it was not from a “friend”. I opened it and read the following:




This same post was copied onto the group page, along with this added warning:

Dear ladies, It is with great sadness that the Admins had to remove Valerie Basham’s membership to VUH. Some of you may have seen her posts promoting Calvinistic doctrine and the new direction she and her husband have chosen to take….(post written above, followed by)… The Admins have also chosen to “unfriend” her from our personal pages because we see the necessity to protect ourselves and our families from the doctrinal heresy of Calvinism. Slew foot has a way of slipping in doctrine that “sounds” right but will take away from the [sic] Christ’s complete work on the cross for all mankind.

Okay, so where do I begin? I suppose at the beginning of Admin “A”‘s original message to me. Let’s look at “Our hearts break”. Interesting choice of words, for they certainly broke mine, too. Their hearts broke so much, that they wrote me many times before this message to see what I believe, to ask me to return to the true faith, and they also let me know they were praying for me. No. None of that happened. They didn’t even have the decency to call me and treat me like a real person. Rather, I was just a name online to them. Their flowery words cannot compensate for poor behavior.

The quote they used is taken from – well, who knows! They never divulged their source. I do NOT believe that Calvin was correct on everything. In fact, I, nor my husband, have ever read Calvin, though we are not afraid to do so. I am NOT a Presbyterian. Calvin was NOT a good man. (King David wasn’t either, nor was sword swinging Peter. And no surprise, neither am I a good woman.) I certainly do not consent to the murder of Bible believers nor do I approve of Calvin’s participation in it. Had they read my blog more thoroughly (did they read it at all?), they would know that I addressed the name “Calvinism”  HERE (see point #1).

“The teachings you post go against all that VUH stands for according to the King James Bible…” I only read, quote, use, love, and study the wonderful King James Bible! I have learned all I know of theology from that blessed book. This accusation is totally unfounded.

The words about or from Calvin are meaningless to me. I don’t care about the man at all. I follow Christ through His Word.

As far as this being something “new” for me and my husband, well, Terry has believed this since 2007-ish and I wrote publicly about it a year ago on this very blog. So, “new” is a relative term, I guess.

I can hear you now…or is that my mother? “Valerie, shouldn’t a Christian overlook this silliness and move on?” Yes, I debated with myself about this very point. I am posting this for five reasons:

  1. I was removed from the group, and then publicly declared a heretic, not the other way around. I could not take questions from other members or answer the accusation in the forum itself. So I bring my case here. When I was locked out of the group, my silence was forced by the sovereign decision of the Admins. (Irony, yes?)
  2. I was never approached privately and asked to leave the group on my own. They didn’t want me to leave on my own, otherwise they could not talk about my error. I had to be made an example, like I was a child in school.
  3. I was never previously reprimanded by the admins for any reason. I never sowed discord on or off the forum with any of its members. My blog is my private property and my words are protected by the first amendment to the Constitution. VUH bears no responsibility, nor can they dictate, any thing in my private life. They only have control of my actions on the forum, which as I said, were never inappropriate. However, as of 10 PM last Saturday, they decided that my private life was fair game. This is where I take a stand.
  4. I was later told that I violated the group’s statement of faith. I should have been shown where I erred from their doctrinal statement in their first message, but I had to request a copy. After I read it, I realized why they didn’t do that in the beginning: I don’t violate their statement of faith. If I were writing it, I would word two things a little differently, but I don’t violate it. I actually agree with it as it is, this very minute. It’s very vague, and it says nothing directly against Calvinism.
  5. If they are going to warn the group about my heresy, they should, in all fairness, warn them about Spurgeon, Adoniram Judson, John Bunyan, John Clarke, Roger Williams, and host of other ancient Baptist’s writings. They were all Calvinists, too.

Well, I did try to speak with them privately since I could not access the group. Admin “A” never answered my questions. She finally said, “Stop messaging me.” I later had a conversation via Facebook Messenger with Admin “B”. She informed me of the reason for my sudden removal:

“I have a friend that I invited to VUH that has started to follow your blog. I have invested many hours helping her grow. I had to warn her of the doctrine and I unfriended you to take a stand for her benefit. I wouldn’t have done it had it not be[en] for that sole reason.”

I have no idea who this “friend” is that started following my blog. If you are that lady, and you’re still reading, then you are my hero. Who does this Admin think she is, that she can dictate to another woman an opinion on what to read? Maybe she said, “Read the blog by the Calvinist lady and then you can ask me your questions”, but I doubt it, because they wouldn’t answer my questions. “I don’t want to debate,” she told me later. No, they don’t. They want to proclaim your faults behind your back in the privacy of a secret Facebook group. It sounds like this Admin wants to have her own followers, rather than trusting God to lead Christians. She said later that I should not to let this “tear [me] down so much.” I suppose she wasn’t crying like I was. I replied, “Realizing that you all place man’s will over God’s will comforts me as to whom I am talking. God is sovereign. He rules.” She responded with, “Ok, Valerie. Don’t get nasty. It’s not becoming.” (I’m wondering what she thought was “nasty”?)

My blog has mistakes. It has error. I am human. I get things wrong all the time. But I strive to follow the Bible, I quote the Bible, I lean upon the Bible. If you read this blog, you have freedom to check my facts, to read the Bible yourself, to pray. You have the freedom to disagree, to hate me, to never read here again! It’s up to you. For anyone to tell you just whom you should befriend or what you should read is against the very grace by which a Holy God has given us. Jesus said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:28-29) Man’s yoke is bondage. If you read here, you are reading the journey of a sinner saved by the free grace of Jesus Christ, and I hope and pray you will come to know that grace, too. Despite the opinion of the Admins, salvation only comes by a work of God upon your heart. Plain and simple.

Well, I got up on Sunday after only four hours of sleep. I ran 2.5 miles, I dressed, I went to church. I leaned upon the Lord (like I need to do every Sunday, not just when I’m sleep deprived! Shame on me!) as I taught Sunday school. I cried during the singing of “Amazing Grace” in the morning service, making big wet spots on my blouse. I kept thinking of these friends saying “we need to protect ourselves and our families from Valerie…” and I cried more. But by the grace of God, I made it. They did not win. This group is called “Vessels Unto Honour”. But unto who’s honour is it? If it is for the Lord’s honor, things will be done according to His Word.

I will continue writing. I will continue making mistakes, learning, and sharing my journey. Why? Because “they” want me to stop. My mom loves Columbo, and she taught me to love him too. I think he says it best:

(my “superior” is the Lord Jesus Christ)

Thanks for reading.


Theological Term of the Week: Foreknowledge


This week’s term: Foreknowledge – (Greek – prog-no-sis) Foreordination, or the eternal loving knowledge or intent, according to which God purposes to bring His elect into the glory of His Son.

Last week’s term: Preterition – The non-activity or passiveness of God, by which He, according only to His sovereign will, passes over those who are not elected unto salvation, leaving them in their unregenerate and condemned state.


Review of Notgrass History: America the Beautiful

Notgrass American the Beautiful

Notgrass History, in particular the course called America the Beautiful, has been one of my favorite curriculum choices. The two hardback textbooks along with the hardback book of speeches and original documents called We the People, are beautifully done and written in a conversational way. The two review books, timeline book, and map book are appropriate for grades 3-5. The books themselves are enjoyable for ages 7 and up.

I read the two volumes of America the Beautiful aloud to my 5th and 8th graders last year. As a lover of history, I truly loved this book. The photographs were amazing and I especially enjoyed reading about the National Parks and biographies in the book. Most history books overlook National Parks or only mention them in passing. With this course, you will learn about an American landmark, usually a National Park, each week! I have added Crater Lake to my list “to visit” places in the USA thanks to Notgrass. I doubt you will read about Fred Rogers in another history book, yet his biography was one of my favorites and quite moving. You will also read about the Presidents, main events of history, and the actual words of those who lived during the times in the book We the People. The books are written from a Christian worldview, which is very important to our family.

I also enjoyed using the literature program with Notgrass. I read the following books aloud, and have reviewed them below:

Note: Two of the selections, Little Town of the Prairie and All of a Kind Family, we had already read aloud together as a family, so we did not re-read them. They are both wonderful stories which we highly recommend.

Sign of the Beaver (near the bottom of the post, please scroll down)

Amos Fortune: Free Man; Brady; Bound for Oregon (all in one post, scroll down)

Across Five Aprils

Blue Willow

Homer Price

It took me between 30 minutes to 1.5 hours to complete the read aloud portions each day. By the time I was finished teaching my youngest, helping the others with math, and grading everyone’s work for the day, I was exhausted. For this reason alone, I have chosen not to do Notgrass this year. However, I have saved my books and plan to use it with my youngest two children in the future. It is a wonderful history program that brings the family together to share in learning, and in making memories. To me, that is the very heart of homeschooling.

With love,