Only one word comes to mind to describe how I’ve felt yesterday and today: exhausted. I’m more emotionally exhausted than physically, but my body is tired after the 2,000 mile journey to and from Columbus, Ohio, and now the fear for Matthew’s little life. If you’re just now tuning in, please read my previous post to know the details of what I’m talking about.
Matt and I spent Sunday together, rocking, cuddling and nursing. He perked up near the end of the day, when we noticed his face was swelling, mostly around his eyelids. We weren’t sure if this was from the anesthesia, medication, (they gave him a steroid and an antibiotic through his IV at the hospital) or some allergic reaction to something else. We gave him Benedryl, which the doctors said would help with the inflammation of his airway from the surgery. He slept well and the swelling was down significantly today, so we feel it must have been a side effect from the surgery.
Today, we’ve enjoyed a day of lounging. I have done very little, and therefore, now feel guilty about that on top of the fatigue. I find myself checking in on Matthew while he sleeps, making sure he’s breathing. With each passing hour of recovery I’m starting to feel more secure that he will be okay.
Today, while bathing him, I couldn’t help but think about the “what ifs”. What if we had only seen that spring and had thrown it away? What if Lauren hadn’t been there, and we didn’t find him till it was too late? What if…the list could go on and on. I breathe a sigh of relief as I care for him. I am hoping that tomorrow we can resume our regular schedule of life. I need to do laundry, make a menu and grocery list, go shopping, clean…there is so much that I’m behind on!
Here are some photos taken the day we got home from the hospital.
Thank you all for your kind comments, thoughts, and prayers.