I’m striving to keep Christ the focus of my life always, but especially this time of year. I can’t help but feel the pressure: decorating, baking, traditions and memories, shopping, wrapping, making gifts for church and the mother of them all – financial stress!
Yesterday, I was rushing about getting things ready for our church Christmas party. I was tired. Cranky was just around the corner. I knew shopping on Saturday would be stupid, so I decided to just get it over with the day before. As I was leaving, my husband said, “Can you make a deposit?” Okay, sure. No problem. Then I get in the van – it was on E! Add “get gas” to the list. Walmart would be last.
My first stop was the gas station. I put in my card, my pin, selected the cheapest form of gas, put in the pump. Then, I became frustrated when it wouldn’t work! I was just wanting to get out of there. I was thinking “Now what? This stinks. Everything just stinks.” I rehearsed what I’d done, trying to see what was wrong. Then, I noticed the problem! I had grabbed the handle for the diesel fuel! I quickly switched and it worked fine. I thanked the Lord for keeping me from ruining our one and only vehicle with the wrong gasoline!
After that, I got worried I’d mess up at the bank. I got the checks ready for deposit while I waited at a red light. No use having a teller stare at me or someone beep their horn at me in line at the drive-through. All went fine there. *Phew*
Next, I headed to discount heaven. My husband had handed me a card to use at Walmart as I was leaving. I suddenly couldn’t remember where I put it. I sat in the parking lot cleaning out my wallet, my purse and searching the front of the van. I prayed. If I’d left it in my lap, it might have fallen to the ground at the gas station! I had a feeling it wouldn’t be there by the time I got back. I called my husband. I was talking to him and searching the front of the van again at the same time. Without really thinking (I can’t talk and think at the same time you know), I got out, opened the passenger door on the driver’s side. There, on the floorboard, was the card! Once again, I thanked my Father. I feel that He just led me to do that – to get out and open that passenger door – because I had no reason to do so. I had not been in that part of the van at all. The Lord answered my prayer!
Yet, there I was, getting all flustered and frustrated about food and gifts and money, while all along my goal is to do just the opposite. It reminds me of Mark 9:23-24. Jesus tells the father of a demon possessed man to believe and the impossible shall happen. The man replies, “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” My goal is to keep Christ the center of my life, all year long, but I can’t do it alone. I’m too sinful. I say to the Lord, “I am putting You first, but you must help me put You first.” I do what I can, but I still need Him just do what I can. Does that make sense? I dunno…sounds confusing. In other words, I need Him, all the time! He blesses me, even when I get mixed up and tired and distracted. He is so very good to me, and I am so grateful for His blessings.