Yes, I know what you’re thinking! “You actually think, Valerie?” Yes, folks, I’m trying something new, and so far, it’s great! 🙂
I wanted to share my heart with you today. It seems that hardly a week passes without my hearing about a pastor, or a faithful layman, getting caught up in the sin of adultery. It grieves me deeply. Must these things be? I think not! The Devil knows how he can best destroy lives, and working from the inside out seems to be his method of destruction. The Devil learned during the days of Nero, and others like him, that persecuting Christians from without the body of Christ only fanned the flames of Christianity. Now, he knows the secret: if he can destroy the family and destroy the testimony of a Christian, then he has succeeded in harming the cause of Christ! His weapons? Clearly one of his favorites is adultery. I don’t know of many baptist churches who have not had to deal with it.
I’d like to encourage myself, and the few ladies that read, to fortify our marriages. We must build up the walls that surround our homes, and keep out the “adulteress that hunts for the precious life” as Proverbs 6:26 calls her. I realize that some men who get caught up in adultery, do it because they seek after it. Other men, however, really do fall prey to a woman who is hunting for him. They truly don’t see the “trap”. Her intentions are to do harm, there’s no question about it.
How can we help guard our marriages?
#1. Pray! We must pray for our husbands. Pray that the Lord will protect him from temptation. Ask the Lord to keep him close to Him.
#2. Watch. We must not be cynical, second guessing everything another woman does around our husbands, but we must listen to our “women’s intuition” that often alerts us when danger is ahead. I have often told my husband to “be careful around so and so” because something that was said or done alerted me to this. Usually, my husband tells me later, “You were right about her!” There are women who desire to hurt, and some who are innocent. I must try to discern between the two, as much as I can. Of course, I’m never unkind to any woman. I just watch her!
The previous points were “defensive” measures. There are a few offensive measures we can take as well.
#3. Words that build up. Never greet your husband (as I sometimes do!) with the cares of the day first thing after work. Let him relax first. Try to be positive, even when discussing the negatives. Don’t be doom and gloom (as I sometimes am!). (Boy, this is really convicting me!) Brag on your husband, but be sincere. Say things that make him feel good. He will know if you’re just saying nice things to “butter him up.” Don’t do that. Look him in the eye sometime, out of the blue, and say “You know, I don’t know what my life would be like if I hadn’t met you.” or “I forgot to say this earlier, but I really appreciated your fixing that towel rack in my bathroom. I take those things for granted.” My husband is my pastor, and I truly enjoy all of his sermons, but saying “That was a good sermon” two times a week (I teach our children’s church on Sunday morning) would get old. I try to give specific compliments. “I really needed point number four!” or “I had never noticed that verse before!” And of course, I never give false praise.
Most extra-marital bonds begin because the man feels he can better connect emotionally with the mistress than his wife. We can stop that bond from forming by ensuring that our husbands connect with us first.
#4. Be sure the marital bed is right. Do not keep yourself from your husband. Build a happy marriage by realizing that “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13: 4. If you are married, then you have a license to be with your man! Do not feel inhibited. Be sure his needs are met. Keep yourself looking nice, especially when he comes home from work. Remember, he never sees the gals at work without makeup and a nice hair do.We need to remain attractive for our husbands. He married a beautiful lady, so don’t change!
I realize that Paul Newman was a worldly figure. He may not have even been saved, but he did have a 50+ year marriage to actress Joanne Woodward. In Hollywood, that is incredible! He once made a statement that is burned in my mind. A reporter asked him if he was ever tempted to cheat on his wife. He replied “Why would I go out for hamburgers when I have steak at home?” That’s the kind of wife I want to be in all areas of my marriage. I want to be “steak”!
I really needed these reminders. I’m going to go work on these things today. I hope they might have helped you, too.
Let’s be on guard against Satan and his attacks on our homes!