Yes, I know what you’re thinking! “You actually think, Valerie?” Yes, folks, I’m trying something new, and so far, it’s great! πŸ™‚
I wanted to share my heart with you today. It seems that hardly a week passes without my hearing about a pastor, or a faithful layman, getting caught up in the sin of adultery. It grieves me deeply. Must these things be? I think not! The Devil knows how he can best destroy lives, and working from the inside out seems to be his method of destruction. The Devil learned during the days of Nero, and others like him, that persecuting Christians from without the body of Christ only fanned the flames of Christianity. Now, he knows the secret: if he can destroy the family and destroy the testimony of a Christian, then he has succeeded in harming the cause of Christ! His weapons? Clearly one of his favorites is adultery. I don’t know of many baptist churches who have not had to deal with it.
I’d like to encourage myself, and the few ladies that read, to fortify our marriages. We must build up the walls that surround our homes, and keep out the “adulteress that hunts for the precious life” as Proverbs 6:26 calls her. I realize that some men who get caught up in adultery, do it because they seek after it. Other men, however, really do fall prey to a woman who is hunting for him. They truly don’t see the “trap”. Her intentions are to do harm, there’s no question about it.
How can we help guard our marriages?
#1. Pray! We must pray for our husbands. Pray that the Lord will protect him from temptation. Ask the Lord to keep him close to Him.
#2. Watch. We must not be cynical, second guessing everything another woman does around our husbands, but we must listen to our “women’s intuition” that often alerts us when danger is ahead. I have often told my husband to “be careful around so and so” because something that was said or done alerted me to this. Usually, my husband tells me later, “You were right about her!” There are women who desire to hurt, and some who are innocent. I must try to discern between the two, as much as I can. Of course, I’m never unkind to any woman. I just watch her!

The previous points were “defensive” measures. There are a few offensive measures we can take as well.

#3. Words that build up. Never greet your husband (as I sometimes do!) with the cares of the day first thing after work. Let him relax first. Try to be positive, even when discussing the negatives. Don’t be doom and gloom (as I sometimes am!). (Boy, this is really convicting me!) Brag on your husband, but be sincere. Say things that make him feel good. He will know if you’re just saying nice things to “butter him up.” Don’t do that. Look him in the eye sometime, out of the blue, and say “You know, I don’t know what my life would be like if I hadn’t met you.” or “I forgot to say this earlier, but I really appreciated your fixing that towel rack in my bathroom. I take those things for granted.” My husband is my pastor, and I truly enjoy all of his sermons, but saying “That was a good sermon” two times a week (I teach our children’s church on Sunday morning) would get old. I try to give specific compliments. “I really needed point number four!” or “I had never noticed that verse before!” And of course, I never give false praise.
Most extra-marital bonds begin because the man feels he can better connect emotionally with the mistress than his wife. We can stop that bond from forming by ensuring that our husbands connect with us first.
#4. Be sure the marital bed is right. Do not keep yourself from your husband. Build a happy marriage by realizing that “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13: 4. If you are married, then you have a license to be with your man! Do not feel inhibited. Be sure his needs are met. Keep yourself looking nice, especially when he comes home from work. Remember, he never sees the gals at work without makeup and a nice hair do.We need to remain attractive for our husbands. He married a beautiful lady, so don’t change!

I realize that Paul Newman was a worldly figure. He may not have even been saved, but he did have a 50+ year marriage to actress Joanne Woodward. In Hollywood, that is incredible! He once made a statement that is burned in my mind. A reporter asked him if he was ever tempted to cheat on his wife. He replied “Why would I go out for hamburgers when I have steak at home?” That’s the kind of wife I want to be in all areas of my marriage. I want to be “steak”!

I really needed these reminders. I’m going to go work on these things today. I hope they might have helped you, too.
Let’s be on guard against Satan and his attacks on our homes!

10 thoughts on “Some Thoughts on Our Homes ~

  1. Anonymous says:

    hey, you have done a better job of practicing what you “preach” than you think!

    you make me happy to be me!



  2. Valerie, I'm not married, but I appreciated your post. For those of us who didn't always have a good example of Christian family to look to when we were growing up, I can say we need all the help we can get for the day when we do have a husband and home. So thank you for sharing what was in your heart and being a blessing.



  3. Wendy says:

    It is with great restraint that I will not speak my mind on this subject. However,I will say this…Ladies DO NOT be a fuddy duddy!!!! A man loves a little spice and who better to serve it up than his woman!!!! Good Job Valerie!!! Thanks for the encouragement.


  4. Kristy... says:

    What a wonderful Post Valarie!
    Even tho we “know” all this, its nice to be reminded from time to time… These things need to stay FRESH in our minds! so that we are always practicing them!


  5. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the reminders.



  6. Linda says:

    What an excellent post! πŸ™‚
    I remember a tape we had lyring around here (*lol* Yeah, as in: casette!) of a marital class one of our pastors did longgggg ago.. he said it was wrong to spend exessive time on your appearance, and we all know that.. but lately he had been seeing the opposite.. married women in church who just 'didn't care how they looked at all'..

    And that, when married, it can be a real downer for the husband, of course…. πŸ˜‰

    Thanks for visiting my blog, by the way! I really liked your message!

    Greetings from the netherlands! πŸ™‚


  7. Great post Valerie! I needed to read this today~Being pregnant I don't always “feel” attractive, but I know for my husband I must be~He always says I am, but I need to carry myself in that way.

    Thanks again


  8. Misty says:

    Just another reminder why we must “Fireproof” our marriages! Not only from adultery, but from other things that eat at the flesh such as pornography, gambling, etc. Thanks for the great post!


  9. Laura :) says:

    Great post! Our church practices church discipline and 2 members were off the roll (membership) due to adultery. One repented and has been restored but the other one hasn't. Then a missionary family returned from the mission field and I could not believe that the husband said it was because a woman caused him to stumble. So now he and his family are home and are no longer on the mission field. It is sad. Very sad.

    I love reading your posts and “hearing” your thoughts.

    Laura πŸ™‚


  10. Tori says:

    Great post Valerie. I needed the reminder. Sometimes we just need a tap on the shoulder.

    Have a great Lord's Day!


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