Devotional Thoughts

I’m Not Crazy. Really, I’m Not.

2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

I have an active imagination. I think I must be unusual in this way, because when I tell people some of the things I’ve thought about, they look at me like I’m crazy. Or, maybe they do that just because I really am crazy? Oh well, who knows? Anyway, I’d like to give you the chance to look at me like I’m crazy, too, so I’m going to tell you some things that have crossed my mind:
– One night, around 1 AM, a man knocked on our door needing money. The thought occurred to me that he might have a gun or a knife and try to do my husband harm, so I stood behind the door with the phone, ready to dial 911.

– I often think (okay, it’s really worry) that my family could be in a car accident.

– Sometimes, I drive across bridges and wonder if they will collapse beneath me.

– When Lauren was a baby, I thought (read: worried) that there would be a fire and I wouldn’t be able to save her. (I think this might have stemmed  from a Little House on the Prairie episode where Mary’s baby is killed in a fire. That show always made me cry!) I mentally devised a plan for how I would get her out.

– I admit it, since 9/11, I’ll never look at a fellow passenger on a plane the same again. Yep, I thi…worry…about that, too.

    Hmmm. Now that I’ve written this, I can see why people looked at me so strangely. I kinda do sound…crazy. But before you pick up that phone to have me committed, let me explain! 🙂 I am not consistently bombarded with these thoughts. They just pop into my head here and there and leave just as quickly. However, I’m sure you noticed the pattern here. These thoughts are not just plain ol’ thoughts – they are really worry. I am prone to worry, and I do so nearly everyday. Most of the time, I worry about finances. Sometimes, I worry about the health of my family. Yet, other days, I worry about whether everyone in our church hates us or not. Some days, I worry about worrying too much. 
    I worry, and worry is a sin.
    Lately, I’ve been convicted about it. The Lord nudges me every time I have worry-some thoughts and reminds me to trust Him. He’s seen me through so many trials in the past, why do I doubt Him? I suppose it’s simply because I am a sinner. I fail often. As I brought this matter to the Lord for help, He gave me the verse above. My thoughts and imaginations can get pretty crazy, and I need to keep hold of them. I need to make them “captive”. I need to keep my mind on Christ, and trust in Him. (Is.26:3) I need to think on good things.(Phil.4:8) I need to think only about fearing the Lord, and pleasing Him. (Ecc.12:13; Prov.16:7) The Lord corrects me often, and I’m so grateful, for I need His guidance each and every day. I need His mercy, and His forgiveness. He’s so good to me!
    I have so many verses that I claim to help me conquer worry in my life, but one of my favorites is Hebrews 13:5b-6 which says “…for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” 

    No, I’m not crazy. Really. (I see the doubtful look on your faces!) But, I do worry. And I’m happy to say, I have a Helper today and He will not leave me.
    The very sane and normal (Right? Help me out here!),

    Valerie

    One thought on “I’m Not Crazy. Really, I’m Not.

    1. Hey, Valerie…you are in good company! lol I, too, have had those same “aprehensions” throughout my lifetime- going on 52 years now! I will warn you that it only strengthens during those marvelous “change of life” years. The walk with the Lord that you are developing now will be the foundation of your sanity if you have the “priviledge” of experiencing those years before the Lord returns.
      My, oh my…you talk about thinking that you are going crazy!!! Satan works our minds like playdoh sometimes until we feel like we are all rolled up into a little ball. You referenced the keys: 1)Isa. 26:3- “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”, and 2) 2 Cor. 10:5- “…bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” He must be foremost in our thoughts all throughout the day!!
      Each time we would relocate to a new place of service or move into a new home, I would formulate my strategy for “hiding” my children should we have uninvited guests! While driving near a body of water, I would “imagine” the car leaving the road and being submerged in the water. My mind would frantically begin to rescue my children…who were, by the way, were sitting safely in the seats behind me. Well- years later- they are all now married with children that age of their own. Hmmm!
      All of that worrying for nothing; however, there are plenty of mothers out there who are never concerned with the welfare of their children. So- I still think you are in good company! At least we are somewhat prepared for what may happen in a “splt second”!!! lol
      Sorry… “long-windedness” runs in our family! 🙂

      Like

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