It’s been a very long time since I’ve posted anything in my “Ministry Musings” series. Thoughts are jotted down on scraps of paper, in my journals and on my heart, but few have made it to the screen. I hope to get started back again, as the Lord is just recently teaching me some wonderful lessons.

One lesson I’m working on is one that I should have mastered a while back; it’s one of the fundamentals. It is the answer to this question: What is my calling? So much of my life last year was dominated by discouragement and hopelessness. As I prayed, read my Bible and waited on God, I came to the understanding that my problem was that I had forgotten what my true calling was. I’d gotten wrapped up in problems that were not my own. It may not be a bad thing to carry others’ burdens, especially when they’re your husband’s burdens, but the truth is, I cannot control things that I do not have control of. Profound, isn’t it? I am not the pastor of the church. Yes, I am one flesh with the pastor of my church, but I still possess my own realm of responsibilities separate from his. My calling is being a wife (first) and mother (second). That’s it. My calling does sometimes overlap into my husband’s calling. Sometimes he needs help with something regarding his work. Not often, but sometimes. It is my job, and my delight, to assist him. However, I often don’t stop there. I continue pushing my nose into his business. This leads to learning about problems I wouldn’t normally know about. This, in turn, leads to stress and worry and fear in my heart. My beginning was good, but my ending, not so much. I am working on this. I want to help him, then walk away; end my involvement after my work is done. Some knowledge of bad things is unavoidable, but I don’t want to dig for it. Trouble will find me without my hunting for it! (Yes, I hear those of you who know me shouting “AMEN!” You can stop now. No running the aisles!)

Seven years ago, when we were just starting to look for a church to pastor, my husband talked to many pulpit committees. A question that popped up over and over was this: What does your wife do in the ministry? My husband’s answer has always pleased me. He said then, and would say now, “She is my wife. She is a mother. She does work in the church, but only jobs that I would expect any lady in the church to do.” For example, I teach Sunday School. If we had a choir, I would participate. If there is a need to bring food for something, I will gladly pitch in. I go soul-winning or canvassing. I work in the nursery. These are jobs that all ladies should participate in. I do not “lead” women just because I’m the pastor’s wife. I have lead Bible studies and things like that, but it is not mandatory. After seven years in the pastorate, I have decided that it’s best for me not to lead ladies functions. Not right now. My true ministry – my true calling – keeps me busy enough. There may come a season of life when I can do more, but that time is not now.

I’m planning on focusing this new year on my calling as a wife and mother. I am spending more time with my children, enjoying this all-too-brief time with them. I am trying to be a better wife, to be a joy to my husband. These are my goals; this is my calling.


6 thoughts on “Ministry Musings: My True Calling

  1. Valerie,
    I completely understand how you have felt. Last year was discouraging to me and I took on way too much pressure to “please” everyone. I often think all our members have to like me, but I have found that is just not the case. I have asked God to help me this year to do the things God and my husband ask of me; be in my place at church; and focus on my children. Unfortunately, people have so many expectations of the pastor's wife and well, they just aren't feasible. I want to offend none, but my priority is my God and my family. I will be praying for you as you reset this button this year! Good thoughts for sure! Robyn

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You're right, Robyn. Everyone seems to have expectations and I want to please people, too. It's hard for me to say “no”. I hope to do better. Thank you for your kind comment and most of all, your prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nikki says:

    Thanks for this post, Valerie. I have found the less I know about the bad that is going on with church members, the better off *I* am. I cannot do anything about it. I'm like you, I want to focus on my calling as a wife and mother. That brings me so much joy because that's where God wants me to be. I get too discouraged when I know too much about others or what they said about my husband or the church. I dwell on it for too many days and it puts me in a foul mood which affects my attitude toward my husband and children. I have been working on this for a few years and it has made a huge difference in me and in our home. Praying for you as you walk in your calling!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. elnasmith says:

    Hi Valerie, just trying to read up on your old posts about the ministry, particularly about being a pastor’s wife. Reading this encouraged me today. I completely understand how you feel and share your sentiments.


    1. Thank you, Elna! I had forgotten about this one and I needed the reminder too! 😊


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