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Dad’s Better Idea

Valerie Basham

June 4, 2010

It has been very hot and humid here, in fact, our home thermometer has read 100 degrees once already! Yesterday, the kids eagerly requested that Terry “puh-leeeeeze” spray them with the water hose to cool them off. He agreed to do so today. However, it turns out that he came up with an even better idea, one which thrilled the kids even more! He created a homemade “slip ‘n’ slide” using an old tarp and a water hose! Our kids were laughing and squealing with such delight that the neighbors wanted to come join us. 🙂

Here are a few pictures of Daddy’s “better idea.” 🙂

I wish we could get a pool for our kids, or maybe even a real slip ‘n’ slide, but since we cannot, I’m so happy that they are learning to be content with what they have.

Heb. 13:6 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Valerie

My Hurting Heart

Valerie Basham

3 comments

June 2, 2010

Recently, I have found myself in the midst of stress – and lots of it. We’ve had some vandalism to our personal property, my children have been physically harmed by neighborhood bullies, we have had a midnight visitor show up twice seeking money, as well as some other personal issues with which we are dealing. None of this is too great for the Lord to handle, and I spend time with Him daily. Yet, even so, I have been suffering from extreme worry, constant tears, and dark thoughts.

Having fought a fierce battle against PPD after giving birth to my first child, I’ve been on the lookout for the symptoms in every subsequent pregnancy. Because my emotions have seemed so extreme lately, I mentioned it to my OB, even though I have not yet given birth (so it couldn’t be postpartum depression!). My doctor is a Christian – for which I thank God – and was very concerned about my symptoms. He isn’t a pill-pusher, but at the same time, he believes that in some cases, medication is necessary. As of this writing, I’m not needing medication. And, I’m praying that the Lord will send complete healing without it at all!

I am so blessed to have a wonderful Mother and sister on whom I can call and confide in. They do not judge me or criticize me, but they do listen and pray for me. They offer a perspective that I often do not have. This week, while telling my sister about my doctor’s appointment, she told me about a Bible study that she used that had a been a blessing to her which discussed some of my very emotions. In fact, she sent a copy to me about six months ago! I had just noticed it on my bookshelf a few days ago and thought, “Oh, I need to do that Bible study!” But, when she sent it, I was in the middle of another study, and then I had forgotten about it. I believe it was God’s perfect timing though, that I didn’t do it sooner. I didn’t need it as much six months ago as I do now. I have started this study, and while I’ve only completed chapter one, I feel encouraged already. I was doubly encouraged when my Mom told me she was mailing me a sermon on CD that she thought would really help me. I can’t wait to get it!

I am so grateful to the Lord for sending me help through His Holy Word. I am also grateful for a loving sister and Mom who care about me in tangible ways. They are a precious gift from the Lord. My doctor told me yesterday that the Great Physician can heal any disease of mind or body, but sometimes He chooses to use “lesser doctors” also. My doctor is another gift from above.

I praise my heavenly Father for loving someone like me! How amazing that the God of the universe and Saviour of the world cares about my little hurting heart.

Lost Art of Homemaking

Valerie Basham

no comments

June 2, 2010

A new website has been introduced to help foster a love and interest in homemaking in young girls and women. To kick off the opening of the site, Raising Homemakers is giving away the Homestead Blessings DVD set. Go on over and check it out here, and don’t forget to enter! You have until June 4th.

As a mother of three daughters, who is not a great homemaker, I need all the help I can get!! 🙂

Valerie

The PW

Valerie Basham

2 comments

June 2, 2010

Recently, I had a great conversation with a missionary wife about the ministry. We discussed how it seems that everyone in a church has certain ideas of what a pastor’s wife, or PW for short, should be. Some think the pastor’s wife should be heavily involved in all things church. Others think an involved PW is trying to lead too much! Some think the PW should simply show up and look pretty, maybe play the piano. Then again, others find this type of PW to be lazy. There is no “Pastor’s wife” job description in the Bible, per se. I did, however, come across this job description, written tongue-in-cheek, of course! 🙂

HELP WANTED: Pastor’s wife. Must sing, play music, lead children’s groups, raise seraphic children, entertain church notables, minister to other wives, have ability to recite Bible backward and choreograph Christmas pageant. Must keep pastor sated, peaceful and out of trouble. Difficult colleagues, demanding customers, erratic hours. Pay: $0.

I got a kick out of that! I came across another humorous PW job description in a book my Mother-in-law gave me called Ministerial Hang-Ups by Joyce Vick,originally written by Norma Gilming from You’re the Pastor’s Wife, published by Baptist Bible Fellowship, Springfield, MO.

She should be a wonderful wife.
She should be an outstanding mother.
A great cook.
A fastidious housekeeper
Very attractive.
And well groomed.
A superb Sunday School teacher.
An executive with organizational ability.
Modest, shy and unassuming.
Friendly, talkative, an all-round jolly type.
She should be able to play the piano.
And sing.
And speak.
And be always in the shadows, never taking the spotlight.
She should be nice.
She should not be too nice.
She should be well dressed.
She should not be too well dressed.
She should have a keen sense of humor.
But she shouldn’t try to top the deacon’s jokes.
She needs to be a secretary.
But with no salary.
She should be influential.
But with no real authority.
She should be everybody’s friend.
But not too friendly with anybody.

The bottom line is that I want to be the wife that is described in Titus 2: 4-5, whether my husband is a pastor or a banker. I want to please my husband. In doing this, I will please the Lord. And yes, I still have a very long way to go in reaching this goal! I do hope others are pleased with me also, but, if not, I’ve done the best I can. 🙂

A work-in-progress-PW,
Valerie

Unexpected Visitors and a Blessing

Valerie Basham

no comments

May 31, 2010

We had some very interesting visitors this past Sunday! As we were getting ready for church this past Sunday morning, my husband glanced out the window and got to enjoy a rare sight – two deer in our church parking lot! He quickly grabbed my camera and snapped some photos. It made for a pleasant start to a wonderful day in the Lord’s house.

Today has been a difficult day for me, but even so, my Father reminded me that He is there. He allowed a female Cardinal to pay me a visit on my window sill in the midst of a tearful time! She was beautiful and reminded me that Jesus cares for me even more than the beautiful bird which He lovingly created. I believe the Lord uses His creation to brighten our days and remind us that He is near. I certainly needed these reminders the past two days. I praise the Lord for His faithfulness and love! I’m only sorry that I couldn’t get a picture of the Cardinal! Both of these felt like a warm embrace from the Lord.

The Lord also brought to mind these verses which were of great comfort.

2 Chronicles 32:8 With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the LORD our God to help us, and to fight our battles…

Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

Hebrews 13:6b …for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Resting in His amazing love,

Someday…

Valerie Basham

2 comments

May 30, 2010

Someday, I will have more energy, you know, when I’m not with child, hot, and miserable! Someday, I will learn some new dishes to prepare for my family – things that don’t involve boxes or cans! Someday, I will take more pictures, and actually print them out and put them in albums. Someday, I will sort through all of the birthday-Mother’s Day-Father’s Day-“just because” cards and file them or put them in a scrapbook. Someday, I will learn a new hobby…maybe. Someday, I will write more. Someday, I will decorate my house with something besides photos. Maybe I’ll learn to arrange flowers! Or make a wreath! Someday, I will take a trip with my husband for several days, and eat a meal where I don’t have to cut up someone’s food. Someday, I will have a lengthy conversation with my husband where I am not interrupted 14 times – and it won’t be midnight, either!

Someday.

I’ll do these things someday, when my children are older, or grown, even. If God allows me to live on this earth after they are grown, I will have time for these pursuits. If not, I believe by caring for my children, I have spent the time wisely. They will be grown before I can say “Jack Spratt”, and I’ll have a box of cards staring at me, as if saying “Well, you finally have time to get to me now!” I’ll probably want to sit in the floor next to the box and cry. I’ll be remembering pudgy hands holding mine, bright blue eyes filled with joy and excited voices telling me of a new exploit. I’ll only have some photos (if I print them out), scribbled drawings and misspelled birthday cards to remind me that, yes, they actually were that small once. My house will have less clutter. The floors will be cleaner. I may have days when I can do all the laundry in one or two loads! My homeschool books will be collecting dust and the school room will be eerily quiet.

Someday.

Today, the house is wild with activity! I have a curly headed three year old singing a silly song to me and laughing merrily. I have a 10 and 7 year old discussing plans for a new club house in the back yard. My five year old can’t wait to start kindergarten – her eager anticipation is contagious and her sweet smile brightens my days. I have a tiny babe kicking inside me, as if to say, “I can’t wait to join you guys!” I’m tired. The laundry is piling up, and the floors are not that clean. I need to dust. School books sit, ready to be used in a few weeks, as we begin another year, that will likely fly by. We might lose someone’s dress shoes today. Milk will be spilled at the table. (On the newly mopped floor, no doubt!) Bickering will occur once (or twice!) more. They will tear their clothes, step in mud, or drop a dish and break it. It will be chaotic – and then it will be peaceful – right before the chaos returns.

Today.

And I plan to enjoy every minute of it.

Summer Reading Makes My Heart Flutter!

Valerie Basham

2 comments

May 25, 2010

Every summer, I try to do something to motivate my kids to read. I know, some folks are against using incentives for reading, but I’m not. I once even paid my kids $.25 for each book they read, back when they were just getting into reading. My daughter started to really love books then, and she made some money, too! In the past, I have made “caterpillars” to go around the room – each circle of the caterpillar’s body was a book read. I’ve enrolled them in summer reading programs at different libraries and even in a program sponsored by our local grocery store when we lived in Texas. Every system has worked! In each incentive program my kids were motivated to read and they did just that.

This year, we are flying butterflies around our house! I’m calling it, “Summer Reading Makes My Heart Flutter!” We are putting up one butterfly for each book read by the kids, with the title, author, and child who read it, marked on it. I read aloud to my two li’l girls. 🙂 We have eight butterflies so far, and we’ve only been going a week! 🙂 We can’t wait to see the room with colorful butterflies going all the way around! (I hope I have enough!)

Are you planning to do some summer reading? Tell me about it!

Spring Bouquets Filled with Love

Valerie Basham

1 comment

May 25, 2010

My precious children have been bringing the beauty of my hydrangea bush, and other little flowers, into the house! I’ve been delighted with the bouquets they have brought me. Since flowers fade so quickly, I have snapped some photos that will last much longer. 🙂

I’m so thankful that my children think of me, and the enjoyment that flowers bring me, while they are out playing. Even more, I’m thankful for the pudgy fists that grasp each bouquet and hand it to me with beaming faces! They will only be little for a little while, and I want to enjoy each moment.

They might be just weeds, or flowers from a bush in my yard, but they become so much more when they are plucked by tiny hands. They become infused with the love of the child who picks them, and that is priceless.
I’m reminded that, while flowers fade, God’s word will not. I pray that the little hands and fingers which gently picked flowers for their undeserving mother, will one day gently turn the pages of God’s Word as adults.

Isaiah. 40:8 The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.

Chore Packs and More

Valerie Basham

1 comment

May 25, 2010

Recently, a good friend commented and asked to hear more about the Chore Packs system that I wrote about in a previous post. This system was created by Mrs. Terri Maxwell, a homeschooling mom of eight. She has written a book called Managers of Their Chores in which she explains the importance of chores and how to use the Chore Packs system. Included with the book are four “chore packs” (see photo below), a sleeve to hold extra chore cards, and card stock to print or write the chores on. I also purchased the software, called “Chore Ware” to set up my chore packs system. The best part of the software is being able to print out picture cards for my pre-readers! I’m not an artist!

Many moms go out and work all day while their children go to school. I’ve discovered that a house stays cleaner when no one is in it. 🙂 As a homeschooling mom – meaning I stay home and my children stay home – we are here all day. We work and play and create and learn all day long, which means we have messes along the way! I was getting bogged down by the enormity of cleaning up after my family. I would have them do jobs, but only when I asked them to, and often I wouldn’t be able to think of everything that needed to be done at one time. I ended up asking them to do things all day long! I have tried homemade charts and other purchased chore systems, but they never worked consistently. I had to stay on top of the kids to see that they didn’t get distracted during chore time. Or, we would lose the parts or pieces to the other systems. Keeping up with the chore system became a chore in itself!

With Chore Packs, I made a master list of chores and divided them up among the children. I determined when the jobs would be done and how often. I then printed out the chore cards. I have some chores that they do daily in the morning, daily in the evening, once and twice a week, and each Saturday. Setting it up was the most time consuming part of this system, but now that I have it going, it basically runs itself. I am still “tweaking” this system as I go. I keep adjusting who does each chore and how often, and I’ve even added some jobs to their chore packs. Each morning, evening and Saturday, they grab their chore packs that I have already “filled” for the current time period. They clip them onto their clothing and do the first chore in the pack. When it’s completed, they flip the card to the back of the pack and do the next card. They do this until they get back to the first card. They then turn in the chore pack and I check it and re-fill it for the next time period. We hang it up, on my spice rack until they are needed again. I include such jobs as “brush teeth”, “make bed” “brush hair” “Bible reading and prayer time” (for my oldest), “feed pet” and several others! My youngest girl, age 3, is too young to take on many jobs, but she wanted a chore pack like everyone else, and I gladly gave her one! She has jobs like “pick up books” in her room, “pick up toys” and “brush teeth”. I’ve been amazed at how much my kids can do to help me! The best part is that I no longer have to follow up every five minutes, I just check the jobs once! I no longer have to remember to have them change their sheets each week – something I would often forget until it was an inconvenient time to do it – that chore card is in their Saturday chore pack and it “remembers” for me! It’s a plan that has not only enabled me to get some help, but it also provides an excellent training ground for life skills. With this plan, I must think about what my children can already do, and what they should learn to do. When I find a job they don’t know how to do, I can take the time to teach them that new skill..

Here are the chore packs, filled and ready to go for the morning.

This sleeve holds my extra chore cards that are waiting to be completed.

Another item that has come in very handy for chore use, is this plastic carrying container, pictured below. It has a handle and easily holds all of the cleaning supplies for cleaning the bathroom. I have made my oldest daughter a chore card for each job related to cleaning the bathroom. I have one that says “Clean sink and counter”, “Clean toilet”, “Clean mirror” and so forth, so she doesn’t forget any part of the job. I then showed her how to do each job correctly. I placed the cleaning items in this container so she can locate the cleaning supplies easily, keep up with them while cleaning, and return them to their proper place with ease. I love it! Ironically, I purchased this container in the teacher section of a Christian bookstore!

This container has come in handy for my little homemaker’s helper. 🙂

While life is still often chaotic and I often feel overwhelmed, I am taking steps to make things better.The Chore Packs are one such step. Each trial that I face at home, whether it’s feeling overworked or dealing with bickering, reveals an area in which I need to teach and train my children. I am trying to take it one day at a time and thank God for the job security that homemaking and child rearing provide! 🙂

She Made My Heart Glad

Valerie Basham

3 comments

May 24, 2010

Prov. 12:25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.

Drama. It’s not a four letter word, but it ought to be! I am beginning to loathe it in every form. With children, it takes the form of bickering; with adults, its shape changes into snide comments or the “cold shoulder”. It can be caused by hormones, or it can be caused by conflict with loved ones. Whatever its cause, I grow weary. I find myself creating drama – usually when I’m not practicing meekness or when I’m feeling particularly crazy due to hormones or stress…or both! I then kick myself (figuratively, of course. I’m not really crazy!) for having caused said drama. I do my best to repair the breach and move forward, but alas, I cannot control others.

Recently, I’ve been facing a lot of drama. There is always family drama to deal with, but most of it is mild. Then there can be church drama. Throw in the occasional financial drama. When you stir it all up together, you get one dramatic woman: ME! The past two weeks I’ve been overwhelmed with church responsibilities, family life, the thought of a new baby entering into our home (I’m thrilled, just nervous about balancing it all), homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, laundry, child training, and the list goes on and on. I didn’t even mention my walk with God, time with my husband, and time to pursue my interests! Usually, if others know I’m struggling, they seem to think that preaching me a sermon will make me better. Or, maybe if they tell me how hard they have it, I’ll suddenly say “Oh! Yes! You’re so right! You have it harder, so what am I thinking?!” (Smacking the heel of my hand on my forehead)

But, that never happens.

When a person feels overwhelmed, they just feel…overwhelmed.(I know, profound, right?) Stating your own difficult circumstances evokes sympathy from my heart for your plight, but it doesn’t relieve my own trials. Preaching me a sermon, however true it may be, does not solve my problems. When you have a heavy heart, you can’t just be “told” to change. Change has to be brought about by the Lord, and He always does it tenderly.

This past week, I posted a comment on Facebook about feeling overwhelmed. It read:
“Please, somebody tell me I can do this. This whole mother of five, homeschooling, pastor’s wife, thing.” And that’s what I wanted…someone to say “You can do it!” I received nearly a dozen encouraging comments. But the best encouragement came via a phone call.

A missionary wife, who visited us in April, but whom I’ve “known” online for a while, called me this past weekend. I wasn’t able to answer so I called her back. I wasn’t sure if she needed something, or just wanted to talk, or what. Turns out her call was regarding my Facebook post. I admit, when she first started chatting with me, I thought she might be getting ready to quote Bible verses to me and, well, preach me a sermon. She wasn’t that way at all! She offered some advice about homeschooling – and I love hearing how others’ do things. She encouraged me in my role as a Pastor’s wife, in which I feel most incapable. Basically, she said, “I know how you feel, and you can do it! Keep going! God can use you.” We laughed and shared ministerial experiences. When I hung up the phone, my heart felt…glad! Just like my verse today. I actually had more energy after the call, and got a lot of work done! My spirit was buoyed – I didn’t feel cranky or sad or overwhelmed. I felt like I could keep going. I felt like the Lord – my amazing, sinless, wonderful, majestic Savior- could use the talkative, insignificant, sinful, me.

The truth is, I have never had a ministry lady take time out to call me. I have some dear friends whom I could call right now and “unload” on, and they would listen to me and love me, but I hate doing that. I hate to bother other ladies whom I know are burdened. Of course, the Lord is always near to me, and I cry out frequently to Him, but I can’t actually see Him. Humans are nice because they are tangible. I believe this “human encouragement” is an answer to my cries to the Lord. He sent someone to come alongside and help me. He sent my stooping heart a good word.

Unfortunately, most of us can remember nearly every negative word ever spoken to us. As a young married gal, I headed out to West Virginia with my husband to be an associate pastor of a church there. I moved seven months pregnant and gave birth there. My family was 950 miles away and was unable to visit me due to caring for my ailing grandmother. I then suffered with post-partum depression. During this time, two different preachers told me that I was a terrible pastor’s wife because I wasn’t like another godly lady we all knew. I knew I was failing at my job, but I didn’t want to fail. I wanted to be better. Instead of offering loving advice or encouragement, they pointed out the obvious: that I wasn’t good enough. Their stinging words certainly made my “heart stoop” even lower.

I look back on those days thankful that I didn’t die and that I didn’t quit. I wanted to do both at different times! While I’m not nearly as low these days as I was back in West Virginia, I still get discouraged and overwhelmed from time to time. When others tell me I’m a failure, or point out my faults, it makes my heart heavy, because I already know my shortcomings (that’s why I’m discouraged)! But, as the Bible says, a good word makes the heart glad! A good word can change everything.

Mrs. Micki cheered my heart with her good words, and I shall be forever grateful.