No, I didn’t just stub my toe. That was a groan from the Holy Spirit within me; a wince of pain from my soul as I feel the sharp pangs of conviction after today’s reading of If by Amy Carmichael.
I read today:
If I can write an unkind letter, speak an unkind word, think an unkind thought without grief and shame, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
Ouch, again. I must say, I’m guilty of writing unkind letters and words, and I’m definitely guilty of thinking unkind thoughts. I’m even guilty of spewing out these words from not just my pen or keyboard, but from my lips!
This is particularly convicting to me today. I find it to be no coincidence that I read these words today. I just deleted a blog post that I spent the better part of an hour composing last night. It was not my typical style. In this post, I let out all of my frustrations with my fellow Christian. My one consoling thought is that I did get under conviction after I wrote it. So much conviction, that I could never bring myself to hit “PUBLISH POST”. I re-read it this morning with fresh eyes and fresh heart and was compelled to hit “DELETE”. Now, I am ashamed that I ever thought those things and wrote about them at all. You will never see that post, but my Heavenly Father did. Oh! How I hate hurting Him! Yet, I continue to do just that!
This book has sent me to my knees many times to repent of my selfish, thoughtless and loveless actions. I need my Father’s help so badly.
With a heavy heart,