I will never forget this day, and what it represents. I became a mother for the first time, twelve years ago today. I was very far from home, with no family around.  The nurses had kept her on a warming table for the first four hours after she was born, because her temperature wouldn’t stay high enough for some reason. Finally, it stayed up and I got to hold her. I can still see her dark blue eyes as they looked up at me for the first time!

When she had to go to the nursery for random tests and paperwork, I got all cleaned up. As I was finishing up in the bathroom, I heard the nurse wheel her into my room. Lauren had started whimpering a little. The nurse soothed her and said, “Awww, do you want your mother?”

Do you want your mother? Mother. That was me.

The weight of the reality came down upon me like a ton of bricks, but with that weight came the greatest joy my heart had known since the day I got saved and the day I got married. Truly, this was a high point in my life. I had kept myself for my husband, and we had saved ourselves for one another till marriage. And now, the Lord had graciously allowed us to have a child – a tiny  miracle with a smile that would melt your heart! Her name was Lauren Kassidy. She weighed 7 pounds at birth and was 19 1/2 inches long. She loved to be rocked. She slept easily. She was, and is, beautiful.

And now, she is 12. She is growing up so fast, just like everyone said she would. I have made mistakes. I have not been as good a mother to her as mine was (and is) to me. I have had to say to her “I’m sorry.” And I’ve been blessed by her sweet smile and her “It’s okay, Mom.” She has accepted Christ, she has given her life to Him, to do whatever He wants. She loves her siblings and a finer big sister I could not ask for. She watches out for them, loves them and takes up for them. She loves the great outdoors, Star Wars and bike riding. She likes to cook, bake and read. She plays the piano and mows the lawn.

I cannot hold her in my arms at night and rock her anymore, but I will hold her in my heart forever.

Happy birthday, sweet Lauren. “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”(From the story book we’ve enjoyed many times together, Love You Forever.)

Love,