Christmas · thoughts-from-my-heart

Remains of the Day

I am constantly amazed at how God sees me through each day. I often begin my days heavy-hearted, full of care and woe. I pray and read my Bible, still not feeling an overwhelming burst of energy or joy. I end the day, however, hopeful and ready to see what tomorrow holds. I lie in bed, recalling the not-so-happy feeling I began the day with, and I am in awe of how I made it through another day! Some days, I do break down and cry for whatever reason. But I still end the day with a joy and peace that wasn’t there before.

The grief washes over me, overtakes me, like a wave of the ocean sweeps away a layer of sand from beneath your feet. But the peace creeps up slowly, gently, gradually. Just the way that you feel after being out in the snow for an hour or more. You come in to the warm house and put on dry socks. You bundle up in a blanket or sip hot cocoa. You don’t instantly feel warm, but rather, it grows on you. You begin to “feel” your feet again, then your legs, fingers, and so forth. Slowly, the pain that the chilly air caused is gone and you are warm and cozy once again. That’s the peace of God. Gradually, slowly, He warms my heart until I am at rest in Him.

I was recently describing it to my husband in this way. When our infants have cried long and hard, complete with runny nose and splotchy face, it’s often hard to sooth them. They can’t seem to turn off the tears. Eventually, by rocking or patting or bouncing or singing, the crying winds down, gets softer, less frequent, and then, they are hushed. They are calm and quiet in the safety of their mother’s embrace. That’s how the Lord is to me, His desperate, hurting child. He soothes and rocks me, gradually calming me, giving me strength to rise and go forward. He walks with me throughout my day as I sweep, mop, vacuum, wash and fold laundry, cook, read, play, laugh, write, teach, train, love. He escorts me to my bed for rest and stands watch over me through the night. He is there when I rise, helping me up, to repeat the process again. He is an ever-faithful friend that will never leave me or forsake me.

I am excited about the Christmas season. I love the lights, decorations, the chill in the air, music, movies, scents, and spirit of this annual time. I even have a short, but not cheap, wish list. (Hey, I gotta be real.) But,  with Jesus sitting here beside me, what more could I want?

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