We enjoy homeschooling. (Most days.) One of the more difficult aspects of homeschooling for me would be completing all of the “hands on” projects. When we do the actual lessons and bookwork, all of my materials are readily available. When we do science projects or art projects, things are not so ready or available. I often do not have things such as red felt, a package of feathers, sequins, or gold braid ready to use. I also do not have the supplies needed for many science projects. Usually. On our first day of school, however, we did have the materials needed to do a few science projects that Lauren’s fourth grade book discussed. The first one was a project in which you watch a plant grow. I like plants. They are quiet, neat, and require little care. The second project was how to make”trap” for insects so you could observe them. This one didn’t appeal to me too much for some reason. The third one was a project we were supposed to do in third grade science, but did not do because I didn’t have frog eggs or tadpoles available. Well, we have a neighbor who has a pool. A frog from somewhere found this pool and thought it a good place to lay eggs. The eggs hatched into tadpoles. So…you guessed it. We now have many little tadpoles swimming around in a jar. We are awaiting their transformation into frogs. (This project is really low on my list people. But, never let it be said that this homeschooling Mom doesn’t allow her children to explore God’s wonderful creation. No siree. Not me!)
I thought you might enjoy looking at the hard work Lauren has put into her recent scientific endeavors.

Watching the seeds grow was not only a good science project, but was a good Scriptural project as well. We discussed how Jesus said in John 12:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. (KJV) We were able to see the actual seed covering (seed coat) fall off and die, just as the Bible said. We then saw how the seed brought forth so much more after it died than if it had remained in tact as a seed. This was a great way to discuss that, as Christians, our lives should be given to serve the Lord. We need to “die” to self, and follow Christ and His will. We can see so much more fruit doing this, than by living for pleasure or money. It was a good lesson for all of us! :]

First, we poked holes in the bottom of Styrofoam cups. We then placed pebbles into the cups to prevent the soil from falling out. The holes allowed excess water to drain out. Next came the seeds. We used pinto beans and lima beans because, that’s what I had! Lauren wanted to do marigolds, but we never got the seeds. :[

Adding the seeds…the fun part!

We then watered the little cuties.

We then labeled the cups “pinto” or “lima” so we would know which was which. (Are we smart or what?) ;]
Next, we placed a sandwich bag around each cup with a twistie tie. This stayed on until the seeds sprouted. We removed the bag and checked the soil everyday and added water as needed.
Lastly, we placed them on the window sill to get plenty of light! :]

Our next project was the insect trap. Lauren buried a glass, level with the soil, under a bush.

Dad helped too. :]

Then Lauren propped a lid up over the jar using rocks. This kept the jar from getting full of water, but left a space for insects to slide in at.

Lauren had so much fun getting dirty! Here’s the finished product! The only insect we caught wasn’t an insect at all…it was a spider! :[ We were a little disappointed about that.The plants are growing nicely! This was taken August 21st. We planted them on August 11. They sprouted only a few days later. We labeled them in order that they sprouted, just out of curiosity.Here are the tadpoles. Yuck. I counted over 40. We have since skimmed it down to fifteen, and it will probably be skimmed down even more in the days to come. (Don’t tell Lauren.) We change the water every three days or so and feed them pieces of lettuce. They nibble away on it and when it’s gone we give them more. All of this in the name of education.Here’s our only surviving plant. It is doing nicely. The others didn’t make it. We needed to transplant them, and since we didn’t, they died. This one, however is still doing well. I took these photos today.I thought it was interesting the way this one is entwining itself around my mini-blind!Here’s one more taste of summer photo for you. I love the way Leslie’s glancing over at her big sister!I leave you with this photo of Lauren’s homemade car. See what I would miss if I didn’t homeschool??

Do you ever feel that serving the Lord just isn’t worth it? I sometimes feel that way. It’s almost as if the Devil is sitting right beside me, whispering discouraging comments in my ear. “Why do you dress that way? What good does that do? Why don’t you listen to that type of music…c’mon. It’ll make you feel good. Why don’t you ever get to go do that! Oh, I know why! It’s because you don’t make enough money to do that. You’re in the ministry. Don’t ya ever get tired of the ministry? Why don’t you take a break from it!” Before I know it, I’m discontented and unhappy and wishing my life were different.
The Holy Spirit nudges me and reminds me that of course, the Devil is lying. He wants me to give up on the Lord. He doesn’t want any more souls saved, and he doesn’t want me living a separated Christian life. It’s important that I live a separated life, not because I’m so special, but because a Christian should be easily identified. If someone is in trouble, they need to just be able to look around and see a loving face and life lived differently to know who might be able to help them. The help a Christian offers to someone is Jesus. A Christian should be able to point others to Christ. After all, He isn’t a temporary solution, His help lasts for eternity.
Today in my Bible reading, the Lord really encouraged me to keep going, even when defeat is lurking around every corner. I don’t feel like I’m making much of a difference for the Lord here, but then, feelings aren’t very reliable. Only the Lord truly knows the difference that you and I might be making for His cause. I can’t quit, I must keep going. I can’t keep going without the help of the Lord, though. He is my very best friend.
Here is what the Lord said to me today from Proverbs 15:
1. I was reminded that the Lord sees the good and the bad.
The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good. (vs. 3)
2. I was reminded that when you live right, you enjoy lasting treasure. The wicked, or those who are “morally wrong”, only reap trouble.
In the house of the righteous is much treasure: but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble. (vs.6)
3. I was reminded that no matter what “show” the wicked put on for the Lord, it means nothing to the Him. A righteous lady need only to pray to please him.
The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight. (vs.8)
4. I was reminded that I don’t serve the Lord to please me, but I do out out of a heart full of love to please the One who died for me.
The way of the wicked is an abomination unto the LORD: but he loveth him that followeth after righteousness. (vs.9)
5. I was reminded that happiness is often a choice. I can choose to look at my circumstances and be unhappy, or I can choose to look at my future in Heaven and rejoice!
All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. (vs.15)
6. I was reminded that it is better to fear the Lord than have many material goods.
Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith. (vs.16)
7. I was reminded of the love of my husband and children. I’ll take that over a steak dinner any day of the week!
Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
(vs. 17)
8. I was reminded that greed (this means discontentment or covetousness) will only cause me trouble!
He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house; but he that hateth gifts shall live. (vs. 27)
9. Lastly, (I heard you say “oh good!”! ;] )I was reminded that I have the Lord with me at all times. That’s something the wicked do not have.
The LORD is far from the wicked: but he heareth the prayer of the righteous. (vs.29)
The Lord is not just “in the vicinity” or “somewhere close”, but He’s right here, right now. He was with me while the Devil was working me over. He was with me as I went to bed last night, discouraged and sad. And even better, He was waiting here this morning, in our meeting place, ready to help me today. He had prepared a meal for me, just like He did for Elijah and the disciples. He did that for me! He was waiting for me to get here so He could serve it. I’m so glad I showed up! :]
I hate it when I let Him down, and I do it quite frequently. I’m so thankful that He tenderly guides me and teaches me and all the while, He never stops loving me.
I believe I’ll keep going today.
So many Christians (myself included) try to keep going in our own power, and that is futile. We need the help of the dear Lord Jesus to uphold us and fight our battles for us. I want to let Him do that!
He’s that older brother, ready to protect you.
He’s that friend, ready to listen.
He’s that support, ready to encourage you.
He’s that guide, waiting to lead you.
He’s that teacher, who lovingly shows you the way.
He’s the Savior, who gave His all for you.
He’s everything I need.

We had survived the broken leg that my poor nephew, Stephen, got on the Saturday we were in North Carolina. We had survived a busy Sunday morning getting everyone ready and out the door for church on Sunday. We had thoroughly enjoyed hearing the preaching of Bro. Bobby Roberson in the morning, and Shelton Smith in the evening. All went pretty smoothly at Gospel Light that day…all except when I left my Bible in the bathroom and didn’t realize it until I was quite a distance away. I then ran (when no one was looking) back to the bathroom to retrieve it. My dress shoes clop-clopped along the floor, and I was sweating profusely in my Sunday dress. I managed to find the right bathroom (there must be 40 bathrooms in that place) but couldn’t recall the stall. I looked in all of them, but found no Bible. GASP!! Fear struck my heart! Had I lost it?? Surely no one would steal a Bible. Would they? Then, I remembered that the little shelf-thingy that I placed it on was behind the door!! Yes! I got it! I then swiftly scooted by (while smiling of course! I didn’t want to appear rude!) two deacons with programs in hand to get back out to Terry and Melanie and get to Sunday School. We made our grand entrance fifteen minutes late. I know! Who woulda thought that getting your Bible could make you so late?!
Anyway, we made it through all of that. And now, thanks to my describing it all play by play, you have too! Whew. Now, we could go site seeing! Our first stop: Mt. Airy!!! What? Know ye not what fine attraction is located in Mt. Airy, North Carolina? Surely you jest! Well, just in case you aren’t jesting, allow me to explain. It’s Mayberry!!! Andy Griffith’s hometown! Yes! And let me tell you, the photos below do not do my excitement justice! As we drove into Mt. Airy, the water tower has a silhouette of Andy and Opie with their fishin’ poles walking hand in hand. *sigh* Doesn’t it sound perfectly wonderful? I know, I’m a bit too idealistic. I admit it. I wasn’t able to get a good photo of the water tower so you could share in my idealistc pleasures. :[ However, if any of you dear North Carolinians have one that you’d like to email me, I’d love to see it!!
We also got to see Mt. Pilot..I mean Pilot Mountain! It was gorgeous! Okay. Enough. I’ll stop gabbing and let you take a look at our photos! I hope you like them!

The day started out calmly enough. The cousins were hangin’ out. For a minute I worried that they were discussing a devious plot to take away my camera. But then, I remembered I’m not only idealistic…I’m paranoid too. So I let the whole thing go.
But I kept watching from the basement window. Where no one knew I was secretly snapping photo after photo.
Oh no!! They may have spotted me!! That was close! Luckily, they are now swinging from trees. That’s much better than sitting around plotting…I mean talking.
Soon after I snapped these photos, we headed out to the promised land! (Don’t worry. I’m only kidding. I don’t really think that Mt. Airy is the promised land. I read my Bible. Please don’t write me and line me out, okay? Please?)
Drum roll please……
Here it is!! Here I am with Andy and Opie!! I was so excited!! I’m grinning just a little too broadly, aren’t I? Wait! Don’t answer that!! I couldn’t help myself!
Lauren and Opie!!
Here’s the plaque beneath the statue. It says: The Andy Griffith Show
a simpler time- a sweeter place-a lesson- a laugh – a father and a son
That sums it up perfectly. That is exactly what I love about Andy!!

LOOK! They have guided tours of Mt. Airy in the squad car! Okay, it’s not the squad car, but it sure is close! We weren’t able to that, but maybe we can the next time we go! Anyone know of a place that gives away all inclusive trips to Mt. Airy?? If you do, please let me know! I want to enter! :]

There’s Otis!

Here’s the Snappy Lunch, which is mentioned on two Andy episodes. We were unable to eat there because this place is the world’s most successful restaurant. I know because they stay open exactly two hours and fifteen minutes. Isn’t that amazing? We ate at Wendy’s instead. Maybe we can eat there next time.
After our quick trip to Mt. Airy, we headed back toward Winston-Salem, stopping at Pilot Mountain on the way. It was so nice. Even the heat (low 90’s) didn’t seem too bad up there. It has a beautiful view. Just thinking about it all makes me miss Melanie, Walter, David Allen, Andrew and Stephen…yeah, I really need to win a trip back out there people.

Here’s one view…
Here’s “the knob”.
Here are some of the kids. (Left to right: Andrew, Lauren, Mitchell, David Allen and Leslie) See that girl in the front with the yellow shirt on? Watch out for her! She’s trouble! I can say this because she’s just like me!
Cousins enjoying the view!!

My girl took this photo. It was supposed to have the entire sign in it. You know what I’m gonna say. Maybe next time! :]

Here’s Mitchell pushing Laci in the stroller. One second after I took this, he fell and subsequently let go of the stroller. She sped down this sidewalk and crashed at the bottom. She wasn’t injured, in fact, she didn’t even cry! Mitchell did scrape his knee a little though. There’s never a dull moment around our crew! :]
Here I am! I was really there, enjoying the view!! I still can’t believe it’s over. I waited so long, and now it’s already over. It was a blast!
Here’s David Allen. I thought this pose was great! I said “Give me fear” and he nailed it! (just kidding)
Here’s some of the gang taking a rest in the shade. I think I’ll go take a rest too.

It’s been great telling you all about my wonderful dream vacation. I have still more to share. I have to tell you about the Sword Conference, about meeting Bro. Clarence Sexton, about seeing our friends, the Collins’s, and about not seeing the Tylers, oh and about seeing Helen Keller’s home in Alabama! Thanks for staying with me. If you didn’t visit me here in cyberspace, I would be of all ladies most miserable. Thanks so much for stopping by.

Today, our precious Lauren turns nine years old. I really can’t believe that my time raising her is halfway over. It brings tears to my eyes. I’ve tried so hard to be the right kind of Mother to her. She is strong willed, but, so am I. My home pastor always said that we should break the will, but not the spirit. I don’t want to break my daughter’s spirit. I fear that I have come close at times.
There have been days when I have lost my temper, shouted or sounded extremely irritated with her. I have gone to ask her forgiveness when this happens. I want to teach her that we all fail, but when we do, we should make it right. I hate that I fail. I am so worried I will ruin my children. I bathe my children in prayer whenever I think about them.
The desire of my heart is that my children grow to love the Lord. I want him to be real to them. I want them to serve the Lord because they know Him for themselves, not just because “that’s what Mom and Dad did.” I want it to be personal.
The only way for me to accomplish this is through the power of the Holy Spirit. Only God can do the true work on their hearts – from the inside, to the outside.

Lauren has already had to face some struggles in her life, but even so, she has a tender heart. She stood proudly in our Sunday night service to give her salvation testimony. I am so thankful that she isn’t afraid to tell the church and her friends what Jesus did for her!
I’m not the perfect parent (Oh! How I long to be!) But Jesus is the perfect Savior. I pray He will do the work in her life that only He can. Now, I must go dry my tears. I hope you enjoy a look back on our sweet Lauren Kassidy.

Happy Birthday, Lauren. I sure do love you. I don’t deserve to even be a Mother. I am so thankful that God is merciful and gave what I didn’t deserve.
I am so very proud of you.






Do you notice anything different about me?? Well!?? I have found this wonderful new blog design website!!! All of the designs are free. They do charge to do a personalized header to match the free background of your choice, but hey, they gotta make some money some way.
I’d love to get a “personalized header” but I can’t decide on a title. What should I call the blog of a pastor’s wife who doesn’t really have any particular talents or hobbies? I have no “passion” other than trying to be a good wife and mother, and believe me, most days I’m way less than passionate about that. I am sensitive, but I try to have a thick skin. I have standards that are rapidly diminishing among saved people. I am nervous, high-strung and in general, a worrier! I like to read. I’m very particular about English grammar. I love purple the best, but I like all pastels. I’m very scheduled in my life, though I try to be flexible. I love to laugh. Especially at myself. If you’d like to laugh at me, then check this out. I like cappuccino. Not coffee. I really can’t handle coffee. My husband has decided to overlook this character flaw in me and love me anyway.
Because I’m so…unique (yeah, that’s a good way to say weird isn’t it?), I can’t really pin down a cute title for my blog. And even if I do think up a good name, I’ll get tired of it eventually because I love variety. Really, it’s impossible. I have changed the name of my blog. But don’t worry, it isn’t permanent, I’m sure.
I thought “Joy” is nice, because I love to laugh. I like the alliteration of Joy and Journey. Journey is a good way to think about our lives here on earth. After all, as saved people, we’re not here to stay. This is just the “road home” for us. This is as bad as it can get for a saved person. We can rejoice in the Lord, for He is always with us. We can smile, and greet others warmly even during our roughest days, for we have the Comforter. There is no reason not to rejoice. To refuse to be joyful is to forget where we are headed. We have no reason to despair! I leave you with a quote from my favorite book/movie of all time, Anne of Green Gables. Marilla says to Anne, “To despair is to turn your back on God.” I certainly don’t want to do that. He’s been so good to me.
Because of Jesus, I can have Joy for my Journey, and you can too!

I have this wonderful friend, Dixie, whom I seem to have fooled completely. She seems to think I’m organized, disciplined or creative. Man. Is she blinded by kindred spirit friendship or what? Lest anyone else out there be confused and actually think that I am together, I’ve included a few photos to prove otherwise. I snapped these today, right after lunch.
It should clear up any preconceived notion that I am “organized” or “disciplined” or “creative”. It should prove to the world that I’m disorganized, uncreative and lazy. Wouldn’t a creative person figure out a better decor? Wouldn’t a disciplined person have all her ducks in row?? I think so. And I, dear friend, I do not have my ducks in a row. I should be making homemade bread or weeding my garden (which still needs to be planted) or mopping the rest of my floors, or grading papers, or cleaning out the seams around my sink. That’s what an organized woman would do. I, however, sit here uploading photos and typing on a blog. Surrounded by the clutter in the photos below. Now tell me, does that sound organized to you?? No.

So, without further ado, here is exhibit A in the case against Valerie.

In the kitchen…oh boy.


In the school room…yikes!



In the bedroom…I need to fold those clothes so I can put on the sheets. I’ll do it later.
What?
I heard that!
I said I’d do it later and I will, okay! :].



I leave you with this photo of our board from today’s first grade arithmetic lesson.

Isn’t that the question you’re asking? Why??? “Why must you bore us to death with these photos? Why!!” Well, friends and neighbors, I don’t know the answer to that. It probably has something to do with my being OC. When I get a clear diagnosis, I’ll let you know. ;]

And Dixie, I really appreciate your kind e mail. It’s so sweet of you to think so well of me. I have you so completely fooled. Now go put your feet up and relax. I think that’s what I’ll do. ;]

What?

Okay already! I’ll go do the sheets! But then I’m gonna relax.

Anyone wanna watch an Andy with me?? No? Oh well.

I hope the following story will not offend anyone. I found this on the web and I just had to share it. I am a strong proponent of laughing at myself. I love it. I figure, if I can’t laugh at me, then who, pray tell, can I laugh at? Usually, I only laugh at myself. Not because I’m so funny, but because I can be so ridiculously stupid. And yes, I’ll admit it, I can even act blond at times. (Wait. I am blond. See what I mean?)
Anyway, I came across this story and thought it was so hilarious! My husband thought it was great too. But, I’m a little strange, so that makes him strange by default. He’s guilty by association.

I hold my Bible beliefs and convictions very near and dear to my heart. (Yes, I’ve been known to debate other denominations at their doors while out soulwinning. But only over the big stuff, like salvation, so don’t get any wrong ideas, people, okay? Don’t think I’m opinionated or talkative or wildly animated, okay??:] ) Regardless of my fervency and passion about what I believe, I do still enjoy laughing at the extremes some folks go to when someone else’s ideas aren’t “eye to eye” with their own. After all, even big mouths like me have our limits.
Note: This is a fictional story!

So, enjoy the laugh, and enjoy your weekend! :]

What kind of Baptist are you?
I was in San Francisco once, walking along the Golden Gate Bridge, and I saw this guy on the bridge about to jump. I said to him, “Don’t do it. God loves you!” He said, “How do you know there’s a God?” I said, “Of course there’s a God. Do you think that billions of years ago a bunch of molecules floating around at random could someday have had the sense of humor to make you look like that?” He said, “I do believe in God.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me too. Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me too! What franchise?” He says, “Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He says, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?” He says, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I say, “Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?” He says, “Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist.” I say, “Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?” He says, “Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I say, “Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He says, “Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I say “Die heretic!” and I shove him off the bridge.**

**Don’t forget, this is fictional. Thank you. :]

On July 26, Melanie and I had made plans to go to Olive Garden with two of her friends. I’d already heard many nice things about Angie and Wendy, but it was so nice to put a face with the name. Right as the server was bringing our salad, Mel’s cell phone rang. It was her husband, Walter. He called to tell us that Stephen broke his leg while jumping on the trampoline, and it looked bad. We didn’t know what to do. Leave right then and go to the hospital, or stay and eat and then go?? Well, we finished our meal, but it was definitely a meal shrouded in fear. At one point, Walter called to say the doctors had said Stephen might need surgery. We praise the Lord that he didn’t. He got a cast, and some heavy pain medication and was able to go home.
I hope to one day get to return to Mayberry…er, oh, I mean, Winston-Salem and visit with Melanie and her friends again. Maybe next time I won’t take my little ducklings along!

Thank you for visiting with us, Angie and Wendy! It was so nice to finally meet you!
July 27 was Sunday. We were able to attend Gospel Light Baptist with Melanie. (Walter had to stay with Stephen) We were privileged to hear Melanie’s Pastor, Bobby Roberson preach the morning service. He preached a wonderful message! I really admire that man! He’s so humble, so genuine! I will be posting more about that soon. Sunday afternoon we went home and the kids played in Melanie’s gorgeous backyard! I used to be so jealous of North Carolinians when I lived in Texas. But now I live in Arkansas!
Below are some random photos from the day:

While in North Carolina, we discovered that Leslie loves to swing!
Oh, and she never stops talking either. But, we already knew that she loved to talk, so that was no surprise. She takes after her Dad in that respect. He just talks and talks and talks…;] Yeah, right! :]
Here’s our little invalid. At least he’s smiling…that’s a good sign! He has a smaller cast now, but I bet it’s still a pain. :[

Here’s Terry’s “artwork” on Stephen’s cast. I thought it was so cute. But, I am a little biased. :]
Well, I’m still not done chronicling my vacation. I hope you’re not bored to death. This is all I have time to post right now, but no worries! I shall return! :]

Our first week of school went quite well, actually.I was pleased that both the kids retained some of what we learned last year! ;] I am sooo happy to be schooling Lauren myself this year. It was really hard keeping up with her and my other kids while she watched the DVDs. I know she wasn’t giving it 100% when we were not in the room with her. It’s great knowing what she’s up to all the time! And, the best part, is that we’ve been finishing up in about 3 hours. It took her five hours with the DVDs, and sometimes more. It’s nice not having to “wait” on the other kids on the DVD. I finally feel more relaxed about school too. I am somewhat of a perfectionist, and that was true for my homeschooling technique too. Every problem, every question, every page needed to be done. This year, I’ve decided that if I’m convinced she understands the concept at hand, then we’ll move on. I have let her choose what subjects to do when. (Except for Arithmetic, I insist that it will be first each day, while we’re fresh.) If she doesn’t like the way we review or drill something, then I let her come up with a better idea. It’s really helped her attitude, and mine, quite a bit!
Mitchell has done well also. He is definitely hyper-active. He is also definitely a kinesthetic learner (he learns best by moving or doing) . I am so thankful he is not in a Christian school! He would get in so much trouble for moving, and he would get bored. Homeschooling him gives me the ability to keep him moving along and working fast. We counted to 100 by lying on the floor and twisting back and forth for each number. No, that wasn’t my idea. It was his. He had fun and did his numbers perfectly. He would have never been able to that in a classroom setting.
We had several interruptions throughout our days, but I’m trying to take them in stride. I could tell I was a bit tense this first week; anxious about how it was all going to play out. By supper time, I was really tired. Getting dinner for six people wasn’t exactly what I wanted to do. Or laundry. Or bathe kids. But then, those are never my ideas for fun even when I haven’t been homeschooling. :]
It was hard on the kids to see their neighbor friends playing outside this past week. The schools here in Hope don’t start until this coming Monday. I wanted to get a head start though, because you never know what may come up during the school year. I already know that we have a revival scheduled in October, so I’ll want some time off then. I really enjoy being flexible.
I want to say thank you to those of you who shared your reasons for homeschooling with me! I agree with you all!
Oh, and one more thing! I’ve added music to my blog! If it annoys you, you can stop it by just clicking the stop button on my playlist.

Have a wonderful week!

If you have read any of my Fitness Friday posts, then you know I try to be fun loving and lighthearted. I guess that’s who I am most of the time. I have lots of “down” days, but I really try to hide those times. Whenever I have let that “down” side show, I’ve had more ladies than I can count tell me that I am looking on the negative too much; I need to trust the Lord; I need to just be grateful for what I have, etc. They’re right! I do need to be positive, trust the Lord and be grateful! Sometimes though, I need a friend. I’m thankful for all of you who read my blog. But most of you are in another state! Some of you, I’ve yet to meet. Sometimes, I need a friend with a face. Proverbs 25:20 says As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart . I understand that. Have you ever mixed vinegar and baking soda? Try it. It fizzes and makes a great spewing volcano for a science project. That’s how I feel when I try to share my burdens with certain folks. Instead of understanding, I get an outline on “how to be happy during the bad days.” Or as the verse says, I get a rendition of “Smile A While”. To be honest, I got a little sick of it. And these were fine, godly ladies, by the way! I still love and respect each of them. But are you tellin’ me that they never get down? They’ve never had a burden so heavy that they needed to share it? If they have never been low or even mildly depressed, then I’d like to shake their hand! I sure have had my share of valleys. Some of the valleys I’ve shared on here. Some I can never share with anyone. I’m sure you know what I mean. I understand that these women were possibly trying to “cheer me up” or maybe, they were afraid if they gave in to my outpouring of grief that they were feeding the monster of negativity in me. If that happened, then I would have the pity-party of the century, or so they may have thought. Who knows what their reasons were.
What’s really scary, is the thought that maybe I have told someone who’s sharing their heart with me to smile and “put on a happy face!!”, making them feel the same way. Ouch. I sure hope not. If so, it wasn’t intentional. Therefore, that may not have been the intention of the ladies who spoke with me. So, I’ll cut them some slack. But just this once. Just kidding.
Because I am so afraid to open up to anyone, except the Lord and my husband, about certain things, I tend to do something else. I eat. Whenever someone snaps at me at church, I bite my tongue until it’s bleeding and then I go home and eat. I know, you’re appalled. I’m sorry to have appalled you. I hope I haven’t lowered my image in your esteem. What? It wasn’t high to begin with? Oh good! No harm done then!:]
Something very minor happened to me this past week. It wasn’t a big deal. Looking back, it seems silly! Most of my feelings could’ve been related to hormones or emotional instability or lack of spiritual stamina, or all of the above! I didn’t scream at anyone, or cry, or even get angry. I just felt a deep, stabbing pain inside my chest, and tears started to come, but I held them off because there were people around. I went home and started to go through my change to scrape up enough money to get a thin mint blizzard from DQ. I wanted to eat an entire tray of Sesame Chicken but I didn’t. Panda Express was closed already. Something also stopped me from going through with the blizzard idea. That something was that DQ was closed too.
As I went to bed that night, that deep, stabbing pain came back. You know what I mean? There was no food to quench it. There were no people around. So I cried. I cried and prayed and went to sleep.
It wasn’t until the next morning that I realized what I had started to do. I started to turn to food for comfort. I’ve done it before. Oh yeah, baby. I’ve eaten more than I’d care to admit here just when I felt sad! Afterwards, I feel guilty so I eat lighter for a few days and I try to workout consistently. Soon I forget about it. Till the next time. The result is that I’ve lost four pounds over and over. I can’t get back to my goal weight because I keep gaining, and then losing, gaining and losing, and on and on. I need to stop this vicious cycle. I need to stop making food my friend, and looking forward to food as my only thing to “live for”, which is another thing I often do. (When Terry tells me he’s taking me to Olive Garden, I highlight the calendar and make a paper chain to count it down. Okay, I don’t make a real paper chain, but I count it down in my head for weeks!)
This is my new goal: stop making food my best friend. That’s the role that Jesus should fill! I turn to him for other things, I need to turn to him now. After all, once I consume the blizzard, it’s gone, but Jesus lasts forever!
I am not going vegan. I am not even going vegetarian. I still plan to eat another blizzard someday. But I don’t want blizzards to be the thing I live for, or turn to in times of heartache. That’s what the Lord is there for. The song says “He’s all I need…” and that’s so true.