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Blessing or Burden?

Valerie Basham

April 12, 2011

Recently, I caught myself grumbling. More inwardly than outwardly. Thoughts like, “I’m so tired of changing diapers!” and “I hate making menus and cleaning floors. Ugh…I really hate cleaning bathrooms!” I had grown weary of the mundane duties of life as a wife and mom.

Grumble, mumble, grumble…

Then, as I was changing my 50th diaper of the day, I felt the Holy Spirit’s conviction within me. “How can you complain in your mind about the needs of this baby, for whom you prayed? Would you rather be in the hospital emergency room trying to find out why your little one is constipated and screaming in pain? Why do you complain in your mind about cleaning your home? God has given you a wonderful place to live! So many go without! Missionaries would call your home a mansion compared to the homes they live in and visit!”

It didn’t take long for me to feel humbled and repent of my selfish thinking! I was, and am, so ashamed of myself.

The next time I had to change a diaper, I thanked the Lord for my little one’s healthy digestion! haha! I didn’t complain, even in thought. When it was time to cook supper again, I thanked God for the food we had. When I have to clean bathrooms, I thank Him for running water and proper sewage! When it is time to clean floors, I thank the Lord that I have not lost my home due to an earthquake or tsunami, as thousands have in Japan. When I see the muddy footprints across the clean floor, I thank the Lord for the 8 little muddy feet that pitter-patter through my home. Before I know it, these days will just be a memory. I’m so thankful for these precious ones who call me “Mom”.

It’s amazing how easy it is to praise the Lord, when I look for the good on purpose. I’m doing my best to turn the “mundane” into “marvelous”. I guess you could say it’s all in my head! 😉

Please Vote!

Valerie Basham

3 comments

April 11, 2011

Hello, friends!

I posted a poll on my right sidebar. I would appreciate if you would take a few minutes to vote. I’m wanting to know what features of my blog are being used. I am constantly tweaking my blog – since it IS my only hobby 🙂 – and I greatly desire your input. I want to make it as user friendly as possible.

I’m trying to teach myself some HTML and CSS code so that I can design a tab box for my side bar that has a tab for “recent comments”, “popular posts” and “archives”, but so far, it’s turning out to be a lot harder than I thought. I would like to de-clutter my blog by creating the tab box, to condense some things. But alas, until an eighth day of the week is created, I doubt I’ll be able to learn very much.

On a side note, if you know of any links or tutorials on this, please let me know. I’ve been looking at THIS ONE, but so far, it’s not working. I found out that it was written for the old blogger templates.
Have any ideas or thoughts on blog improvement? Favorite blog features that I don’t currently use? Let me know! Contact me at the page above, or just leave a comment here.

And vote. Please, vote. 🙂 Thanks!

I’m a Chart Person

Valerie Basham

9 comments

April 7, 2011

On Monday, April 4, the kids had to take their annual state-mandated achievement test. The results, whatever they may be, do not affect the parents’ right to homeschool their child in Arkansas. However, it is the law, and I want to teach my children that we are law abiding Americans. The test only takes a few hours, but it sort of messes up our entire day.

And, when Monday is off, it throws off the whole week. You know what I mean? It’s hard for me and my OCD self to keep going when the week gets off to a weird start.

I was also kind of in a rut with our homeschooling efforts. I felt myself feeling worn out, sluggish and less-than-motivated the past few days. So, I decided to declare this week our “spring break”! 🙂 We have enjoyed staying up a bit later, sleeping in a bit later, and spending the days outdoors! I have enjoyed cleaning out some closets, wiping out some cabinets, and getting organized.

My name is Valerie, and I’m a chart addict. I love charts. I love lists. I love crossing things off. It’s true.

One thing I’ve been wanting to do, is create a goal chart for my kids. We have some of the A.C.E. goal charts, but they are small and rather difficult to write in, especially if you want to add more detail than page numbers. Since we often enhance our materials, we need more space than what is given on the goal charts. I wanted something that they could use, without much assistance from me. I created THIS CHART using a template on Microsoft Works. Perhaps it would be a help to you, as well. The terms “Word Building” and “Social Studies” are particular to A.C.E., so I created THIS CHART to be suitable for other curricula. (You will need to download these in order to view them.)

I also used THIS TEMPLATE and created my own grocery list! It’s more of an inventory, really, so that I won’t have to copy everything down every week. We often use the same products over and over. I arranged my list according to the way my grocer’s aisles are set up, from back to front, which is how I usually shop. I hate backtracking through a store! Again, maybe it’s just my OCD side talking. 😉 I also deleted many things that we don’t use and added some that we do. For instance, the original template called for “Lamb chops”, but I’ve never even eaten lamb chops, so I don’t cook them. I also never buy anything from the “Service Deli” in a store, so I deleted that section as well. All in all, I made a lot of changes to make it my own. You can download the template for free and make it work for you.

Today, I’m planning to do some more cleaning, such as bathrooms and floors, and catch up on my grading! Tomorrow, I’m getting my hair cut and highlighted. Saturday will be laundry, more cleaning, and preparing for the Lord’s Day.

Off to get my list, 😉

How to Add Smilies to a Cbox

Valerie Basham

no comments

April 6, 2011

I absolutely love getting comments and emails! For a while, folks were having trouble leaving me a comment on blogger, so I added my cbox – chat box. It has been a cute and fun way to keep in touch with you! I recently received an email asking about how to add the little smilies to a chat box. I thought I’d just post about it, in case there are others who might be wondering the same thing. It doesn’t cost anything to add cute little smiley faces or different colors to a chat box. It just takes a little time. So… are you ready? Good! 🙂

First of all, you need to set up a cbox account for yourself, or open your account if you’ve already got one. Just go to the cbox website and follow the directions for adding it to your site.

To change the colors, go to THIS SITE to see various HTML color codes. Go to “Look & Feel” on the cbox site, then “colors & fonts”. Type in the code that you think would look good. Play around with them till you find something you like.

To add smilies, you must first find the smilies you like. You can take them from my chat box smiley section or from others’ cboxes. Anywhere you find them, just right click on them and save them to your hard drive. Upload the smilies to a photo sharing site, such as photobucket. Keep photobucket open in one tab, and open up another tab to your cbox account. Click on “options”, then “smilies” from the drop down menu.

You’ll then see a page like this:
(click to enlarge)

On photobucket, click on the smiley you want to add, then copy the “direct link” code. Paste that code on the “URL” line of the page above. Type some kind of code in the “code” line. For instance, you could call a waving smiley “:wave:”. When someone clicks on the smiley to add it to their message, this code will appear in the message box. The colons will separate the smiley from written words.

You can add another type of code, such as ” 🙂 ” for a smiley face in the “Alt code” line, but that is optional.

Finally, scroll down to the bottom of the page (see photo above) and click the “save” button. To add another line for a new smiley, just click “new row”. To remove a smiley, just click the “x” to the far right.

To view your smilies, open your blog, or refresh the page, and try them out for yourself.

Have fun making your cbox…fun! 🙂 If you have any questions, just comment or email me using the contact page.

Happy blogging, and chatting,

Tunnel Vision

Valerie Basham

2 comments

April 3, 2011

Jude 22 And some have compassion, making a difference.

As I was leaving the store the other day, a woman walking in caught my eye. She was tall and slender, wearing jeans and a denim jacket. Her arms were crossed as she walked in, and at first glance, I thought she was crying. I took a second look and saw that it was just a trick of my eyes. I noticed she looked tired. She looked lonely.

I wanted to stop her and speak to her, but what would I say? I had a cart overflowing with groceries and a talkative four year old with me. I asked the Lord right there, “What should I do?” I didn’t really get an answer, so I kept walking.

I immediately felt convicted about the fact that so often, I don’t really notice those around me. I go to the store, get my stuff and go home. I’m friendly to those I interact with, but I don’t really try to give them the Gospel. I only think of my family, my problems, my needs. I guess you could say I have “tunnel vision”. I was ashamed that I wasn’t prepared to talk to her, or anyone else for that matter, about the hope that is within me. (1 Peter 3:15)

I haven’t forgotten that woman. She is only one of many in my town who are hurting, tired, or lonely – or all three! How am I going to change things? What can I do? I can reach more people with the message of the dear Savior. I need to be-friend more people in real life, not just on facebook. I need to show the compassion of my Savior. I need to introduce them to my Best Friend and the answer to their pain, fatigue and loneliness – Jesus!

I’m thankful for this woman, whomever she was, for waking me up from this serious case of tunnel vision. I pray for strength and courage to do more to reach those who are, literally, all around me in need of the Lord.

Ritz Chicken

Valerie Basham

1 comment

April 2, 2011

Ingredients:

4-6 boneless/skinless chicken breasts, cooked and chopped.

1 can cream of chicken soup

1 8 oz. sour cream

1 sleeve Ritz crackers (or more, if you so desire)

1/2 – 1 stick margarine, melted

Directions:

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Stir chicken, soup and sour cream in a small bowl.

Place chicken mixture in bottom of a greased 9×13 dish.

Crumble the crackers and sprinkle them evenly over chicken mixture.

Pour melted margarine on top of crackers.

Bake, uncovered for 20-25 minutes until lightly brown and bubbly.

Let the goodness melt in your mouth!

I got this recipe years ago from my sister. It’s one of the dishes that everyone in my family loves! We never have left overs, and soon, I think I’ll be needing to double it!

Hope your family loves it, too! 🙂

Happy Happenings

Valerie Basham

3 comments

April 1, 2011

Hello, friends! I just wanted to drop in and hit a few high spots of our life the last few weeks. I wrote HERE about how my kiddos, along with some neighborhood friends, built forts out of the pine needles that were raked up from our church’s yard. Well, the vacuum truck finally came by to remove the kids’ piles of fun from our parking lot, and on a SUNDAY to boot! We were shocked to see them early on the Lord’s Day. Perhaps, since it’s a church, they decided to get them before our services? Maybe they work every Sunday? We were baffled. But, anyway, here are a couple of photos of the vacuum truck. 🙂

Laci had fun hiding under our TV stand. 🙂

Daddy put a coffee filter on Matthew’s head for a little hat. We were surprised that it stayed on! He wore it for several minutes before it fell off. 🙂

He’s finally gotten his first tooth! *sniff sniff* He’s growing up so fast. Poor fella even chewed on his toes to help his wittle gums feel better!

Oh! And guess what?! I had a birthday!! 🙂 Last Friday and I turned the big 3-3. Wow…I can’t believe it! Birthdays are kinda sobering for me; a time of reflection. Am I using this life God has given me to bring glory to Him? Am I being the best wife and mom that I can be? Am I looking a lot older? 🙂 Okay, so the last one was meant to be funny, but really, I want to live each and every day for my precious Savior! I thank the Lord for another year of life. My mom was kind enough to let us invade her house for a while. She made us roast, potatoes, carrots, green beans, rolls and BANANA SPLIT CAKE!! 🙂

Me on my birthday at my mom’s! 🙂

Snapped this of my older girls on the way to my Mom’s house.

A few of us with the cake Mom made. 🙂

Me with the candles! No, there aren’t 33, so don’t bother trying to count! 🙂

Mitchell let Matthew play with this decorative bat he got years ago. I thought it was cute to see him “chewing” on it! Here’s Matt, with his bat! 🙂

And this is how I found Matthew after his nap a couple of days ago. I don’t know how he got his left arm out of his sleeper like that! 🙂

I’m so blessed! I’m thankful for my Lord, my home, my mom, my husband, my children, my heritage, and my life. May I use each day for Him, more than the day before.

The Bitterness Test

Valerie Basham

2 comments

March 30, 2011

Heb. 12:15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

It is so easy to become bitter. We have recently had to deal with many situations where the term “stabbed in the back” would fit perfectly. I have found myself struggling to truly love people, and I’ve caught myself becoming less trusting of those around me. I’m always thinking things like, “Well, they say they are my friend, but…are they?”

Yesterday, I read 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter! 1 Cor. 13:5 says that charity “…thinketh no evil…” Ouch! I have been guilty of evil thinking, or evil surmising, about those whom I should love! I asked the Lord to forgive me and help me to love others, including those who may not love me back, without reservation. I want to take the risk of being hurt, and love unconditionally. I want to open myself up even more, despite being mistreated. But, I’ll be honest, I can’t do this in my own strength. My flesh cannot do this. I must have the help of the Lord.

I’m also on guard against bitterness. We could all be bitter at someone, couldn’t we? An ex-husband or boyfriend, a “friend” who wasn’t a friend, a parent or sibling who did us wrong, and the list goes on and on.

We’ve been having van trouble lately, and I was a bit worried that my youngest daughter and I would be stranded on the way home from the store a few days ago. I thought about some people in our town who do not like us. I wondered, if I broke down, and they passed me, would they stop and help me? Would I receive their help?

That got me to thinking…I know, scary, right? 😉 Perhaps a good “bitterness test” would be this: Is there anyone in your life, that if they were broken down on the side of the road you would refuse to stop and help? If there is someone, or several someones like that, then you are probably bitter. I asked myself this question and I have to be honest, it would be hard for me to do, but I would. I don’t know if some people would want my help, but I would offer it.

And you know, that’s all I can do. I can only control me. If they want to be bitter at me for something, I cannot change that.

They say that bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. I don’t want that poison in me.

Goodbyes are Never Easy

Valerie Basham

8 comments

March 26, 2011

Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

There is nothing more painful than losing a part of our church family. Over the last year, we’ve lost over 20 people from our church. I haven’t written about any of it until now, because frankly, I’ve run the gamut emotionally. I’ve felt anger, worry, sadness, and yes, even a bit of relief. I have been pondering my thoughts and emotions, praying about it, and kept it all to myself.The Lord has done great things through this painful time in our lives and I feel I can now share my heart on this matter.

With each loss, I have been hurt. It’s like a punch in the stomach. One particular family was pretty close to me. We went shopping, ate out together, and they were so kind and generous to us. It was devastating when they walked away, without even a goodbye. But that’s what it was…a goodbye, without the words. They are moving on, seemingly as if nothing happened, while I’m limping along, grieving. Every time I pass by restaurants or stores that we visited together, I feel a twinge of sadness. I miss them so much. Some of these folks I’m able to keep up with on Facebook, and each time I see their names, I think, “Boy I miss them!” I pray for them still and I keep up the hope that one day, they will return to our “home”.

People leave churches for literally a multitude of reasons – relocation, health problems, unhappiness with the pastor and/or members, disagreement over doctrinal issues – and the list goes on and on. May I share a bit from my heart regarding leaving a church? I hope you never have to leave the church where you serve, but if you do, or if you’ve left one in the past, perhaps these will help you.

1. As a pastor’s wife, I promised myself I would never be responsible for my husband leaving a church. That means, I will never cause him trouble in his ministry. I hold my tongue, I watch my “step”, for I do not want to be burden to his ministry. Am I perfect? No. Can the people find fault with me? Oh yes! But I do my best to be a blessing, not a hindrance to his work.

2. As a layman’s wife, you should only leave a church, because your husband feels that that is the thing to do. Dear friend, if you go home from church and gripe and complain about everything from the music to the way the carpet is vacuumed, then your critical spirit will more than likely make your husband feel you should leave that church. A man who loves his wife, wants her to be happy, and he will do anything for peace in the home.
Here are a few thoughts to ponder from Scripture:
1 Corinthians 14: 34-35 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.

³⁵And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Too many women feel the need to voice their opinions to the pastor. If you are a widow or single, then you should go to your pastor or his wife, in the right spirit to discuss a problem or ask a question. As we see from the above passage, if you are married, you should talk to your husband at home.

Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
That one’s pretty clear! 😉

Acts 13:50 But the Jews stirred up the devout and honourable women, and the chief men of the city, and raised persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them out of their coasts.
Notice, they stirred up the “devout and honourable women” Women (yes, I’m speaking of myself here!) are an easy way by which the devil can gain entrance into a church. The saying “When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” is so very true!

3. If you’ve left a church for the right reasons, then you certainly wouldn’t want to gossip about it. Gossip is wrong and even if what you are saying is the truth (as you know it) the chances of it getting twisted in translation are about 110%! 🙂 If you left for the wrong reasons, then of course you will need to justify your decision to your friends and family, so you will need to talk it up…but it’s still wrong. Proverbs 6:19 tells us that sowing “discord among the bretheren” is one of the seven sins that God hates!

4. If you are in a church that has, for any reason, recently lost some families, be assured that your pastor is hurting about it. If they have moved, he misses them. If they are upset, he’s beating himself up wondering what he might have done differently.If they are lying or gossiping, he’s trying to be meek and fighting the urge to “right the wrongs”. Pray for him during the days that follow. Drop him a note of encouragement or do something special to let him know that you are still following him, as he follows God.

I know from experience that losing people is hard on the pastor, and hard on his wife. Doing God’s work is hard when those with whom you serve leave, or worse, start casting stones. It’s painful and so very hard to look up to the Lord, as Stephen did, and say “Father, forgive them.” It’s especially difficult when stray stones start peppering your innocent children.

I can also say from experience that God’s grace is beyond sufficient – it is abundant! He sends strength when ours is gone, He lifts us up and binds our wounds. He feeds us from His dear hand and embraces us in ways that we would never know were it not for our light affliction. He is so good! In all things, He is good!

Goodbyes are never easy, but with God as our helper, we will keep on going for His glory. He has everything under control.

With love,

Thank You, Mom

Valerie Basham

2 comments

March 25, 2011

Every year, I have a birthday. (I know, weird, right?) Every year, several people send me birthday cards and even gifts! Dozens of kind friends write on my facebook page wishing me a happy birthday. But, in reality, I wouldn’t be here today, were it not for my amazing mother.

As I look around at today’s world, and I see unwed mothers by the hundreds, hear about abortions being performed daily, or the staggering divorce rate, I bow my head and thank my Heavenly Father for allowing me to be born, not aborted. I thank Him for my parents who, though not saved when they married, they married before they had children! I thank Him for their unwavering love for one another despite some very hard trials during their 40 + years of marriage. I am so blessed!

Thirty-three years ago today, I came into the world a week early. I was due to be born on April 1st, April Fool’s Day, and everyone in my family was relieved that I didn’t come on my due date! 🙂 My Mother was teaching at Jessieville High School at that time, as a Special Education teacher. I was born the Saturday before her spring break began, which worked out well since she’s a hard worker and hates being absent from her commitments. She was able to rest on her spring break and then take one more week off and go back to work.

As soon as I came home, I cried every night, all night for three months! I had a bad case of colic and couldn’t sleep. My parents took turns rocking me to sleep, then whoever had me, slid down from the rocker onto a pre-made pallet on the floor and slept with me on their chest. Then, the one who slept miserably on the floor had to go to work all day long! This lasted until June. I know, I was a blessing from the start!

As I grew, so did my stubborn nature. In my childhood, I talked back, disobeyed, and spoke words which shouldn’t have been spoken. As I stumbled through my teen years, I questioned, shed tears for no reason, debated, and needed a lot of talks. I spent my share of time getting spankings, lectures, and many hours in prayer with my parents. I got a lot of spankings, because, well, I told you! I was stubborn!

As a child, I heard the saying that “You’ll thank me for this [spanking] someday.” and I never believed it. But, it’s true! I appreciate it even more now that I am a mother myself. I am truly thankful for each moment of discipline (which was not as much spanking as it was instruction) that my parents gave me. Most of this discipline fell upon my Mom’s shoulders to mete out. She had to be strong and wise. She comforted me during the emotional-roller-coaster days of my teen years. She listened to me, she laughed with me, she loved me with all that was in her.

As an adult, my relationship with my Mom is the best relationship I have. She lets me “unload” on her, she shares her thoughts and listens to mine. She’s always available for lunch. She has encouraged me in some of my darkest hours. Since my Dad’s sudden death, she has kept going for the Lord, not wavering once. She has been an example of godliness and faithfulness.

As you can see from the kind of child I was, loving me and training me was hard to do! The only kind thing I did for her was being born the week before her spring break, and I didn’t really do that myself! 🙂

Thank you, Mom, for my life. I love you..